Some kind of cold feeling.

There must be something terribly wrong..... With me...
Sometimes I feeeeeeeeeel like I haven't learned.... Anything....

You guys... Look.. I've been stuck on this fucking CD for a few weeks now.
Pretty Lights' Filling Up The Skies, CD 1. Holy cow... This freaking CD really gets me sometimes.
I like how music rushes over you with emotions and memories.
I feel like crying to some tracks and I feel like yelling at others, but I feel like dancing to all of them.

 It's been a crazy term. Lots of work, lots of posts and lots of growth. I feel good about where I was and where I am now. Kinda like I've leveled up.
I feel like my animation skills are getting better. I'm starting to understand how shit works and how to get things done. I just need to work on my drawing skill to turn those shitty pencil tests into some legit stuff.
I am definitely loving this choice as far as a career goes.
I like that I'm being classically trained with the other arts as well. Embracing illustration and learning that hand in hand with animation has made me stronger so far. I just hope that some classes don't get in the way or cause me to get held back.
KFMA Day was pretty cool. I helped out with the schools picture booth even though I didn't volunteer. I got to leave when ever I wanted. VIP was pretty cool too. Watching the scum of Tucson was pretty fun, but scary to see how much shit, like, actual shitty people are alive and roaming our streets. Lots of free food for the VIP people, which was nice as well as just clean restrooms to use with actual toilet paper.

 I finished my painting. There's some pictures of it.
I hope it makes gallery, that'd be cool. If it doesn't, at least I'll be able to hang it up in my room sooner. I think it's a bad ass piece. My instructor was diggin' it too. Makes me feel good that I can accomplish something like this and impress the staff at school. It's good to see that things are clicking for me and that I can do it. Just have to put my mind to it.

Things are wrapping up this term nicely. I'm feeling pretty good about my finals. I just have to do an impressionistic landscape for the painting class, and I can knock that out tomorrow no problem. I'll be doing a speech, baking a maquette, and printing his character model sheet tomorrow.
Oh, and I'll be animating to some sound effects. Hope that goes well. I'm pretty much done. It feels good.

Derp!

 

 I like this design a lot better than the previous. 

Shoulder... Pain... Ugh!

Hey guys. What's up?
I got sunburned today waiting for the fucking bus for over an hour. The bus is 'sposed to run every 10 mins. Laugh out fucking loud!
Cool- I'm not too mad about it. Just didn't get a lot of time to work on other things like I had hope to.
I got my maquette done and his model sheet. So that's cool. I'm glad to be done with it.
Just need to bake the maquette and primer it to complete it 100%. I can get the primer on Monday since ACE Hardware is near the school.
Fucking character model sheet though. I fucked up like 10 times while coloring it.
I discovered that I really love Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys. I knew I did, but more so now than ever.
I'm sore. Hunched over all day working like a fucking imp / goon / douche. It sucks.
Well enjoy the fruits of my labor.
At least I have KFMA Day on Sunday.. That should be cool...

I still think.. I think.

God damn it.
I feel this looming sense of doom when I see other 'student' work from other schools.
I had a talk with one of my teachers about it today. He just kept trying to reassure me that they're showing their students best work. Which they are. I mean, the school's gotta sell itself some how right? How else are they going to get students to fill up their seats? He went on to explain that's why they put stuff in the student gallery. It's to show off, look how good these students are, you COULD be this good, probably.
I feel like you have to love the work you're doing.
That's what the animators were doing when they were holed up in their little shack in the back of the lot back in the day. Making fun of their bosses and having a blast just doing some silly inside jokes.
I feel like our crew right now at school is nice. We've gotten pretty tight over the last two years.

Sucks though, that people move on. They're gonna graduate soon. I just hope we can stay in contact so that way when I get out... We can still kinda chill.
I want to do a good job. Most of the time I'm working really hard at doing a good job.
I think only a few people see that. I believe it is this drive, this motivation, that gets me to my goals.
I hope I don't lose this steam. I'm going to need it to get a great job. I need to work hard at it every fucking day. I need to be great at what I do. Funny thing is though, the school made me wait a year before even starting me on actual animations. I feel like I missed out a year of practice and bettering myself. It's like taking a pit stop before even beginning the race.
Work hard. I just gotta keep telling myself that. Work hard.
This work, every day, will keep me in shape. Get me in better shape. I can't lose this. Gotta keep pushing.

One day I'll be good enough.

 Here's the work I did in painting today. Check out the transition from shitty to a bit better! I worked on my jumpsuit and the floor. It's coming along really nice. I think that the portrait a day assignment really helped me learn how to paint.
Today was a great day as far as that went. Got some great painting done today. Feeling pretty good about that.
Also finished up a paper, a power point presentation, half of another paper, and my clean ups for Little John.
I need to figure out where I'm getting my animation master degree.
I also need to pick three interesting sound effects to animate to for the last week of school...

Gawd these are complete shit. We've had very little time to work on this in my opinion. I also have to do a maquette of him. Gotta get to fucking work....

yawn

Here's a look at what I've been doing lately.
Cool. Enjoy.

A little quickie-

Hey guys. I got some decent work done today. Got my baseball assignment pretty much done. I did those keys for the batter, but I had to in-between the pitcher.
I feel pretty good about the animation done today.
Also, I laid down the background for my piece. It's a 26 inch x 26 inch piece.
Later I was like- Uh I don't like it just being the background, lets do the outline too. So I got some help and projected the image and got the basic line work in. Gonna fix the background and lay down my first layer of just mid tone and colors, then work from dark shadows to the highlights.

Oh, I also started cleaning up those poses and what not for Little John.
I'm just getting shit done- Ya know, not fucking around... Even though that's all I did today.

Gonna go get drunk now.

/cough cough/

So, all I did was piece together how my character model sheet's gonna look. Gonna clean it up and color it.
Tonight wasn't a complete waste! w00t
Okay, so I'm happy to announce that I will be going as the Team Fortress 2 Pyro for Halloween this year.
I'm investing in some blasting gloves and will be keeping an eye out for a sweet strap / rig for the fake flame thrower I'm gonna make some time in the future.
Cool! See ya-

Oh, and if you're interested in seeing my process you can view it at :

http://www.livestream.com/4itchytasty

Sorry about yesterday!

holy shit, I'm so tired this week.
So there's my finished master copy.
I don't like calling it that. Let's call it the finished pallet copy.
That sounds more accurate.
I'll be using that pallet for painting one of the images above.
Not 100% sure, but I think I'm gonna go with the second one. It's like, 99% positive on that one.
The shoot was exhausting. Hard to breath, hot, and nervous because I didn't want to get in trouble for having an unloaded gun. Anyways, it looks pimp. Everyone thought it was cool, and it totally was.
Can't wait to paint. Probably more to come this evening.

Animation Keys

 Some keys for my animation class. I don't like the contact (29). But we work with what we can. It'll blow by so fast on the hit you wont really notice its derpyness.
This is all I did today. I'm so out of it. Allergies are killing me. I couldn't swallow for the majority of the day. My throat is hurting...
If you click on the first picture and roll your mouse roller thing down you can see the actual animation.. Peep that. =D

Ahhh, ya pussy!

I'm realizing that happiness strikes you at the weirdest times.
I've been very depressed lately.
What I come to understand of it is that, in order to understand happiness, you must first suffer. You have to understand what it is to be the polar opposite of happy.
I believe that living with this coat of depression lately has kind of jaded me.
No, the world has jaded me, but lately I've been carrying this weight on my chest that I can't seem to understand. It's like something is corrupting me.
Today, I saw rays of light shining through this depression veil.
I realize that this feeling is worth it, to enjoy those happy moments.

I've been circling my brain.
Just trying not to lose my grasp on reality.
I have noticed that my mind can't quite cope with certain things yet.
I know what triggered that happy moment.
It was memories of me and my sister.
We had late night adventures to the Wal-mart Market, buying snacks and treats.
Well I would drink a lot of Lipton Green Tea with Citrus.
I bought some after many years and as quickly as I drank and tasted that flavor, those memories rushed over me.
It reminded me of how it feels on a cold day, and the sun peeks through the clouds and rests its warmth on you, for a brief moment.

I still have a hard time fathoming space and the universe.
The idea of heaven and hell.
Limbo...
A conscience.
Haha- I feel insane...
I can't wait for this photo shoot.
Got a lot of stuff I want to get down and out with it.
Hoping for a great final painting from it too.
I want to thank Phil Hale for inspiring it, as well as giving me a nice pallet to work from. :3

I can't cry. I feel like that's just what I need to do right now.
I just can't fucking do it though.
Even when I'm hurt- Nothing... I shocked myself with the recent accident I had on my bike.
I was feeling very much alive while throbbing with pain. It's like, pain is a motivator.
Jaded, I know...

Reflecting on that contrast of happy and depressed was a real eye opener for me.
I need to figure out how to get my shit together.
I want to enjoy and explore the night sky, teeming with it's infinite possibilities.

Here's to life because it's too short... One sided.
Here's to love because it's never really enough. One sided.
Here's to happiness because it's always overcast. One sided.

 I'm working pretty hard on my master copy. Like I previously mentioned, the proportions are off, but it's because I didn't do an under painting with like, a sketch or anything. The idea was to focus and get the pallet right. As far as the colors go I've got it down pretty well. I've also finished preparing for my final.
I just need to do a photo shoot and go from there.

 As far as digital stuff goes, I worked on the girls face for a bit today, as well as worked on the monastery concept a bit more.
I'm digging it now that I have an idea of how I want the buildings to look.

I don't think I really touched the boat much since the other day.
So yeah, that's what I've been up to.

Hmm... Well...

So I thought I'd do something nice for me mah for her birthday.
Figured I would make her a better card than last year.
So I decided to make a brutal unicorn.
I hope she digs it- I'm sure she will. Haha!

Here's some more development for Little John.
I kinda pictured him a bit more quick than any normal large guy.
I looked at some Spiderman poses thanks to my bud Jon, who commented on one of the previous poses I did, noting his Spiderman-esque stature.
Haha. So I went to town on some poses. I kinda dig them.

Here's a landscape I started a few days ago. Not sure how much farther I'll take it. Feeling like I have a decent shitty base to work from.

AAND here's some more progress on that boat from earlier.
I've just been dragging my feet on this painting thing huh?

Oh, so here's the finished version of our KMFA Day poster.








Well, keep in touch for more stuff. I feel like I did more, but after a quick scan I guess not. Haha.
Well, cool.

Remembering to Smile.

Hey guys.
I've been digging this drawing / painting schedule I've been forcing myself to do.
I may not see any direct improvements right away but I bet if I keep it up and look back from, let's say, next fall, I'll see an improvement for sure.
Instructors are telling me that it's all about repetition.
It's like working a muscle. Gotta flex it, stretch it, and work it every day!

Here's what I did today.
More to come tomorrow, I'm sure...

I was starting to blend together her colors, but I just felt like it was time to quit. Maybe I'll pull it up and work on it further tomorrow. I'm digging the rusty boat too... Nothing to it but to do it!

4/13/2012 Trying to feel alright.

Some really cool action poses tonight with Little John. My two favorites are the one of him doing the jailhouse rock pose and him flying thru the air.