I just can't even begin to explain my situation.
Things are just working out. So that's the best way to explain them.
Today though, I'm kind of sick. I got some kind of head cold.
I'm almost over it.
I put it on some notebooks on RedBubble and some phone cases too.
Oh yeah. I also have a DesignByHumans store now too.
I was approached by them to open up an online store with them.
Feels great man!
Just going to make more art, even though I don't think I'll make it as a contributor to Tucson Comic Con this year I would still like to have work.
I loaded up some brushes and stuff in photoshop and didn't save the little sketches and stuff I did today.
I want to submit to the character design challenge this month.
It's VIKING. Just getting out of my comfort zone and seeing if I can keep up with Jon.
The stream is going really well. I've been streaming every day since I was set free.
Things are just working out. I can't believe the amount of support I have through people on the internet.
I have some really supportive friends.
Shout out to ThorsRampage, SuperSalad, FroznToast, demonhealer_mvm, Ragin_Raptor, TheRedOnionNinja, BerserkerHug, Legend_Nilmar, Papa13ear, Valdreig, RaYoshi and Dem0n5. You guys have helped me in more ways than one. I really appreciate you and your time. You are more valuable to me than words can say. zachyLOVE.
Can't wait to see what happens in March.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
It's coming along. There's still a lot to be done. I need to add Mario's body or something. and a background element just to unify it. It feels very detatched.
Today I just felt really "OFF"
I don't really know how to explain it.
I think it's just because of all this uncertainty in my life after struggling so much last year. I thought I had shit lined up pretty well.
I think it has to do with at work relations.
I guess I just don't feel secure at my position. As if I can be fired at any moment for something. Which isn't a bad thing. I could be free to pursue my goals with twitch and art while I find another job.
Or it could be that when I filed my taxes I found out that I have to pay over $400. I've never owed before and I have no clue as to why I owe this year. It blows my mind.
I'm single, live on my own and barely have money at the end of the month to eat. BUT YOU GOTTA PAY THAT GOV'MENT THEY MONEY. Cause they don't care. I'm just some low class fuck face to them.
They don't see the struggle. I basically WORK to barely LIVE.
I think that's what depressed me today.
I pushed that in the back of my mind earlier this year.
Came to an understanding about my place in society.
Honestly it fucking sucks. I went to college in hopes that things would be better for me when I got out. It was tough learning that the money spent on college wasn't going to secure me anything at all.
I have hopes and dreams.
And I'm fucking 30.
Where did the time go?
I spent my 20's learning what NOT to do.
I can't give up on making 2016 something amazing.
I can't give up on the things that I want to do.
But I hardly have time to work on these things because I have to work in order to stay alive.
Is being an adult juggling these things? Or just understanding that you're worthless and you don't get to follow your dreams because you can't live off your families trust fund or you don't have rich parents who are willing to cover your failures?
I love seeing people become successful after knowing where they came from. I have some friends who really knew how to make it happen for them.
In a way I'm jealous. I like to think that I show up everyday and work hard, so eventually I'll see my rewards...
Honestly though, I'm getting tired of waiting.