Thursday, November 14, 2019

I felt good about October. For the most part.

I felt good at the end of October. I felt accomplished. Like I had done something good.
All I did was make it. I made it to November. What an accomplishment! 
High fives all around. But after it sunk in... 

Here I am, the 14th and I'm a shadow of my former self.
I really have been trying to take an inventory and see what makes me happy.
I've been so dark and sad for so long.
Something said to me kind of put in in perspective. I was told, what happened to your drive? When I met you, you were really passionate about making stuff, and you had this aura, but now it's dimmed, or gone. 
It made me think, like damn, what am I bringing to the table?

I really need to stop wallowing in my shit pile.

It's time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. 

Get back to making stuff you feel cool about. Get back to doing things you feel cool about. 
Where did it go? I need to go on a mission to mind myself again.

I need to soul search and do some art studies.
I really need to find my voice again. Find my drive and passion.

I need to figure out how to start. 

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Welcome to November.

I spent a lot of time recently just trying to realign my artist self.
I honestly do not know why I even call myself an artist anymore.
Real talk, I don't fucking do anything. It had been so long since I made anything that when we get together on art days I will start something but I can't seem to execute.

I spent the last hour going through old drawings and stuff I've made and I looked at it and just felt embarrassed by it all. I'm sitting here at an art club, that I put together, with artists that just /have/ it.
I was looking through my old stuff to kind of re-affirm that I had it too. Trying to prove my lying brain that I am worthy. Or that I am of some kind of something...

I fucking don't. I have nothing. I cringed at my old drawings, thinking I had made something of note. I felt shame, and even just wanted to outright delete everything from my RedBubble.

Why did I believe people when they said I was talented?
Were they just being nice? Why would people just lie like that?
Why did I buy into the idea that I could make something of value?

I've been thinking about it a lot because Tucson Con just passed and my girl friend said she had a hard time, much like I did. What was bugging me was that her artwork is a lot better than mine. Which got me thinking about things. I just confirmed with myself that I just can't cut it anymore. I don't have what it takes.
I foolishly tried to do con for 4 years. And barely scraped by each time. I invested so much in myself only to hardly get by.

It's a reoccurring theme in my life. I think I'm cool, and I do the things and it turns out that I'm not, and I'm just a piece of shit.

I sit here today, certain of that fact. Facing it isn't as hard as I thought. Because deep down I knew I was just pretending that I could be something. Going through the motions, just doing the things I thought were "good" for me.

I really just want to disappear, as if to just reinvent myself or be someone completely different.

I also thought that today could be the day I work on finding myself through art.
Why don't I just create stuff in hopes that I find my voice?
Why not work on stuff that does make me feel good?
But then I remind myself I've been already doing that and it's not gotten me anything.
It's been a charade. Smoke and mirrors the whole time.

Maybe it's just a bout with artistic depression. Maybe it's just a combination of that and actual depression. Maybe it's reality finally kicking in and I'm able to comprehend it.

Either way I feel like garbage and I can't fight against myself because I have no actual ammunition.
The shit is very honest, and real. I can't argue with it.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Sometimes logic just kills your sense of wanting to continue.

I really just need to get this off my chest and put it some where that it can just exist without people making me feel like shit for it.

I realize that I haven't been posting a whole lot of happy stuff. Things are just not going well.
When I finally identify the problem, I make moves to snuff it out.
When I was at Bookmans, there was a co-worker just giving me hell and I tried all kinds of ways to solve the situation. It didn't work. I left. When I was at the tea shop, I worked a lot and covered peoples shifts. I did a lot to help keep myself busy and distracted. I worked so much that when I was finding ways to make the job better, and suggesting it, it caused issues with a certain manager who didn't want anything to change. I left. Working so much really put a damper on me though. When at Zia, I tried the same stuff. I kept moving on trying to find something good for me. And when it was about money, I got more money. If I wasn't very happy, I powered through and looked for something else. I just never felt really good about things I've been doing in my life so far.
Some of the things that bug me I just cannot change.
I absolutely hate the constructs in which we live. I feel so cheated. I never asked to be born, and with that comes all kinds of shit to be a part of "society" which are totally unfair. The fact that money makes everything smoother really fucking sucks. I'm honestly really tired of worrying about it all the damn time.
When I was getting garnished at Alorica, for an old debt which the agency shouldn't have been legally able to collect on because of it's age, really fucked me up dude. I feel so empty. Working so much to get others rich just fucking pisses me off. I'm spending my life and my well being just scraping by. I'm so fucking sick of it.

I just want to feel good about waking up. I want to feel good about existing and I truly haven't in a long ass time.

Going to college was great but before that I suffered a lot with the same feelings I have now. Which at that time made me want to kill myself. If I knew that even 9, almost 10 years later it would be more of the same I should have just fucking done it.

Here I am. Zach. 33 years old. 306 lbs. Feeling very alone. Overweight and depressed. Dejected. Fucking sad excuse of a human. Stuck in the broken gears of capitalism, failing as a middle class white male and falling into the lower class. Getting shit on by everything, the law, the way corporations work, the greed of the society and how truly nasty other humans can be. A victim of circumstance. A trauma survivor with the anxiety and self loathing, even guilt that's hard to live with.

But in reality I'm the Assistant Manager at GameStop, with a loving girlfriend. I have a few very close friends who are a reminder that it's not just me who's struggling and they make it work. I did some dieting as well as other changes and lost 40 lbs since January. Despite some financial short comings I have had a lot of support from people around me. Friends and even people I don't even know. I got a car after a long time. I built up my credit. I worked very hard for it and scrimped on a lot to get it up there! I don't have much of a family after all the domestic violence and trauma. I have my rescue cat, Garth who just makes me feel good when I see him. I hope I am giving him a better life. My job is pretty cool, I mean I get paid to talk about video games. I am not bad at the damn job either, as far as it goes with "sales" and other metrics. I get a sense of accomplishment when I know I did a good job. It just sucks when you don't hear it often or at all.

Things aren't that bad. 

I guess I just wish some of the things I did to help better myself worked out to a better situation for me. Everything I have done to make things better for me ended up hurting me more right now.
I would get a job and shit would turn sour. Or I would get garnished, or something would come up where I just get fucked over. I understand life is supposed to be hard. But didn't I do all the hard shit already, dealing with the abuse I suffered early on? Didn't I already pay into the catch a break fund enough with that shit? I have to work very hard for the little that I have. I am tired. I am worn out. I just want to not have to worry about my electric bill, or be stuck eating top ramen for a month because of some stupid shit out of my control.

I can't post about it because it just looks like all I do is complain all the time, as if I'm not grateful.
I guess I'm not. Being alive is just bull shit anyways. Why fight for it if there's no actual victory to be had?
People are out there doing things, having it harder than me, and enjoying themselves. I just don't know what it's going to take for me to finally be happy.
I know exactly what would solve my shit.
I know it to be the perfect solution! I lied. It's being fucking debt free. Money has caused so much discourse in my life. I can't believe how much it has corrupted humanity.

I hope that by this time next year I am debt free, or very close to it. I hope that I will be slimmer and healthier. I hope that I will have the money I need to take care of the basic necessities of everyday life.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

2nd post because I'm trying to be good about consistency.



Hey guys. I finished up that piece. Here's Notorious K.I.N.G.

Also, here's that cleaned up version of the space cowboy.









Having a hard time coloring things lately. I wish I was a more competent artist with actual skills to make something good.
I honestly have been sitting here working on stuff since I graduated and I think about it all the time. Why do I keep doing this? I'm no good at it. Even if I were to compare myself to others, it's like, why do I keep trying. I know that I should just make art and do what I can, because no one can make things like me. Even if I were to draw Superman, or Batman, my style would make it unique. But WHY should I be doing it?

I guess I'm just feeling like I'm spending a lot of time on something that doesn't do much for me.
I really enjoy having the creative outlet. It does make me feel better when I make something that is up to my expectations. It's just lately I can't line the two things up, my skill and my expectations.

I wish I was renowned enough to just tell people to make shit for me. As if I were the director or something. I feel like I could lead projects and get my ideas out there better if people who could actually execute my ideas for me. I don't know anymore. It's been since 2014 since I graduated. 5 whole years of just trying to make stuff work for me.
The struggles I've been through just trying to keep a damn roof over my head.

I hope that my career works out for me with my current venture.
I don't know what I'd be doing otherwise.

Anyways. I'm going to keep trying because I know you wouldn't want me to give up.

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Nightly Numbers for 8/15/2019

Hey all.
Just been working a lot.
Been getting used to my position and getting set with making sure I deliver my best self for the job.
I think I'm going to do my best to make it my actual career. I can't really see myself doing anything else. I'm too much into the customer service / retail / video games to just do something else. I did enjoy working for Costco the time that I did for their online customer service. I was good at that too. I'm happy to be the stores assistant. We're doing so good.
I'm doing good as far as that goes now. Job = good means I = good.
Trying to work on art and stuff still. Having a hard time getting things finished. Able to start good projects and stuff but I can't execute.
 Space cowboy came along pretty well. Just having a hard time coloring him.
Then I was working on some video game stuff.


Having a hard time coming up with the way I want things. Cool robots versus cool Bio/Mutant creatures. I need to nail down the things I like about the bio side. The robot stuff should be easy and funner. I was thinking a lot about things like the Infected Terran from Star Craft, Stukov and things like the G-Virus on Resident evil. I loved how they mutated and how cool they are. So I need to keep messing around with stuff like that.


To get away from not feeling good about my art failures I decided to spend some time working on this.

Notorious K.I.N.G.
Once I get good at coloring it will be up on RedBubble as a T.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Never. Ever. Give. The. Fuck. UP. NEVER GIVE UP.

I've been past due. Scrounging. Getting by with very little. It doesn't look like it's going to get any easier either.
I can't wait to just get back on track.
I feel like I've been trying to get back on track since 2014.
I graduated and I just have been trying so hard to make things work for me. Trying, having some minor and major failures, as well as a lot of little successes. It all works out in the end if you don't give up.
My message today is that no matter how hard it seems, or how dark it gets, there is something better on the other side when you get there. It's so fucking hard to keep that in mind when you're suffering and struggling through it.
I'm living proof that it gets better.

Today I live with 96c to my name. I get paid in the morning and I'm so grateful to have a job that finally treats and uses me like I need to be. It feels so natural and amazing. I have yet to get anxious at this job. I feel like I'm in my element.
I just need to get my life outside of work set up like this.

Been doing my best to stay up on chores and making my house more livable.
Been working on trying to clean up myself too.
I went from 330 lbs to 310. But it's because I'm too broke to eat. I save money for the days that I work so I don't have to deal with feeling like shit.

I get paid tomorrow and I'm just hopeful that I get enough caught up that I can actually start paying off a lot of my debt.

I am tired of just getting by.
I need to get better. Be better.

I kind of have a crush on someone. I crush on a lot of people but this one is close to actually obtaining. She told me in a conversation that she's been into me. I have been super into her since I met her. I love the broken creative types. It's like they understand me, there's not a lot I have to explain because she gets it.
Anyways. I am going to just keep working and hopefully it works out with us. I'd really like to have someone like her around.
I think as I become more accepting of myself things just end up working out for me.

I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. I'm honestly just trying to be happy.

I was drawing on stream and I wrote down some stuff that would be cool and combined a few things. Came up with an astro cowboy thing. So I started with the idea.











I want to make a cool space cowboy.

Anyways. Catch up with you some other time. Be good to yourself.

Oh yeah, that reminds me of why I wanted to write.
I've been feeling so fucking shitty towards myself. I can't believe that I am in the situation where I'm struggling so much and I only have myself to blame for it. I am being really harsh on myself and I always want to give up, but I keep going. Persevere. I keep pushing. I keep moving forward. I keep trying. Despite the bullshit in my mind. The little spark of hope radiates much more brilliantly then that dark void that keeps telling me to give up.
If I would have committed suicide in 2010 like I was heavily thinking about I wouldn't have done a lot of the cool things the last 9 years. I wouldn't have failed or anything else either, but I'm still here, just trying to be the best Zach.


Thursday, June 6, 2019

:)

Hi reader.
Welcome back to the blog.

I wrote a lot complaining about the bullshit going on in my life.
Look. Life sucks. It really does at times. But then there are times where it's really good.
I am so ready for the really good parts.
I want so many more good parts right now.
I am tired of the shitty stuff. I don't want anymore bullshit.

I want so much for myself.
Then at times I don't want to work for it.
I need to really get things figured out.

I'm trying to do really well at my new job. Learning the operations is fun. I'm glad I have the strong foundation of my customer service skills already. I just want to be in a good spot where I don't have to worry. I want to clock in, do work and be well.

I think I found it.

Now to just get my financial stuff settled. I can't wait for 3 months from now when I can look back at this hard struggle and be like, "Wow... Glad that's over."

I started working on the Twitch streams again. I kind of just hunkered down and created a bunch of art and graphics. I put in a lot of stuff for the "aesthetic" of the place.
I think it's been fun getting down on that.

There's a start up screen that involves text digitizing and warping out. Unfortunately it wont load up on this but more of the stream art is below.


Here's the going offline screen, when the stream ends. 


Then we have the offline screen that's on the channel page when I am not live.




There are the subscriber perks. There are unique channel badges, and unique subscriber only emotes we will bring to the table. I can do more emotes when we unlock them with more subscribers.


There are panels at the bottom of the video player that gives you a bit more info about the stream and what not.






I've been working pretty hard on the "brand" and I think that the uniform style is really cool plus, it's unique. Metroid is my favorite game series and I hope to continue making unique emotes and keeping it a part of the steams image.
Anyways. Here's to a good June. I hope that things just start settling down for me.

-Zach


Later on I continued to make stuff.


I also just have been circling in my mind how sad I am to be so lonely.
But then I look at myself and I see why. Who could love /this/ as I motion to myself.
I can't help it but think that my physical appearance is what's holding people back from getting to know me. It truly feels like it is. I am so upset with my past self and how I am now. It's like, I let myself get this way due to seeking comfort, instead of challenging myself to be better, like I did when I was in college. I felt like I was physically healthier then, but not mentally. It's the reverse now. I've got shit all good in the mind but everything else just fell apart.
I'm tired of making excuses. People have come and gone with offering help and guidance.
I feel like people get tired of me, and then just move on. Like fuck that guy.
I know it's not easy being my friend. You have to actually try with me. Because I feel like I'm too much of a burden.
I'm tired of feeling like a turd. I honestly believe that if I had someone by my side encouraging me to do it, and be better I would feel more inclined to do it.
It just isn't in the stars for me. I'm destined to be alone. My life journey is to just struggle. There will be no end until the day I die or give up and kill myself.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Ramblings of a sad man.

I have come back to reality to find myself more fucked up then I remember.
It's why I slip away again and again. I can't seem to face it. I can't seem to make it.
I just want to feel normal. I can't look long enough to make it. How can I keep trying if I can't see that far? I would rather pretend to be something else. I remake myself every day.
I don't even feel like myself anymore. I am a distorted reflection of what I used to be. Using strange pieces of trauma and fear as placeholders, as if to define what I am. 
I was so scared of becoming a withered husk that I didn't see the signs.
My worst fears were realized. As I walk past myself in the mirror. I see an image of the old me. The old me turns away. Sad at what it saw. The image before it, nothing like it expected.
I lay in this floating abyss of depression. Lifeless and weightless. I float over everything. Numb to the sensation of the world spinning.
I let the currents take me. I get swirled up in the panic. I get lethargic in the drab and dull. The happiness feels like a millisecond. A fleeting moment. Like what my dread used to feel like. They have completely changed places. I used to walk through it all, happiness at the forefront. Now it's a drudge through a swamp of dread.
A disgusting trophy is displayed where confidence used to be. That shining triumph is gone. Tarnished into nothing.
I lay there a broken man. Not even feeling like getting up anymore. These bones are too sore to make it. No bandage or salve can repair.
Have I become what I wanted to build, or did I become a pile of disappointment? The things I wanted, stacked up and slumped over. Limp from failure.
The story ended when my world stopped turning. I've tried to jump start it back to health. The batteries are dead. There is no more to pull from. The reserves are spent. I propel forward in the dark abyss. Holding on to the edges of a light left behind.
I can't do it anymore. I no longer wish to try. My hands clasp shut, holding onto nothing. All I can do is let go.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

It's only been 4 months into the year and it's been the most challenging year I've ever had.

Hey guys.
If you are interested in reading my final pass at Xen and Teebo click on this link right here!

I have a lot to say this time around so I guess this will just be a dump.

Alright. So today I committed mentally to work towards making myself better.




I have been fighting with my own confidence and my own self worth.
I wanted to do this early January so that way I would have been further along now. But everyday I kept convincing myself tomorrow. Finally today I was just like, NO. Today. I keep putting it off.
I'm currently just hurting. I feel like I've been wounded for so long that I don't even know what hurt me anymore. It's like I keep hurting myself because I can't get past it.

This year has been so hard on me.
I am currently getting garnished and I am losing $400 a month of income. I have personally been struggling to get by. I have been paying my bills so nothing gets past due. I don't want to end up with another agency gaining the ability to garnish me again later. But because of this I haven't had money for food or things like getting a haircut or washing my car. I couldn't afford litter and cat food for Garth. I resorted to starting a GoFundMe asking for help. I poured out my heart asking for help. A lot of people stepped up but a lot of other people gave me their perspective of how I shouldn't ask for help and I should have suffered in silence. How this was my fault and why should anyone else help?
Well, it hurt but I still just kept asking. I really appreciate everyone who has stepped up and helped me get by these last few months.
If you are interested in helping me or at least even reading about my issues you can click right here to check it out.

There are a lot of updates and stuff there so consider helping me out or even just sharing the story. If you can't or wont help, maybe someone else you know can and will. Thank you. 

I personally have been pretty upset with my job. What else is new, huh? If you read back you can always see me complaining about where I'm at.
I just gotta say that when I got this job in September last year I was really happy and hopeful. I really did enjoy my job, so much so that I did manager stuff with no raise. I did manager stuff for free. Because I liked it. Because I felt challenged and useful.
And then they dissolved the project, moving me to a new project. I told them I wasn't interested in moving unless I could be something more on that project as well. They told me that because of all the hard work I did on the original project I would be a great candidate for leadership on the new project.  I transferred reluctantly. I had a feeling that things weren't as honest as it seemed. I had the ability to pick my schedule and stuff so I was happy to hit a morning shift. I'm off mid day and have the rest of the day to get shit done. It's nice being off and home by 2PM. The project itself is a fucking soul suck. It's so hard to be less personable with the people we help over the phone. It's also hard when you get these people who call you for help but then wont listen. It's like, why did you call in the first place then? Haha. It's crazy but anyways, at the end of the day I just keep trying my best. I can't let the job crush my spirit. So I just sit down and focus on doing a good job. I applied to be an assistant team lead, which was what I was doing on the other project. I felt confident in my interview. I gave them short concise answers. I felt like I was a top candidate for the position based on my previous experience so it was natural. I was just not trying to feel arrogant and over confident.
At the same time I applied to be a teacher at a school in the Vail School District.
I felt really good about both being an option. The school declined having me join their team because I didn't quite have the experience but the assistant principal talked to me for 20+ mins about how I should never give up on this path. I agreed with her. I feel like I should be in a position where I can influence people to be better.
So I had at least had the ATL position to fall back on. But at the end of it all I wasn't chosen. I have some harsh opinions on who got picked over me. I feel like if you were on the verge of being fired on the previous project because of reasons, you kind of don't look good. But it's good to see that through the flames something good could rise out of it, so good luck to that person. 
Anyways, now here I am. I gained weight because of stress, then more stress and anxiety due to being garnished and now feeling trapped because I can't move up. I don't have faith in the leadership around me because they aren't invested in seeing me succeed. I feel like I fucked up by choosing the morning shift. At least on the night shift there were people in positions that actually do care about me.
Anyways. I need to change my perspective. I need to focus on what's good. I need to be better to myself and less harsh about my failures and short comings. 

I am currently being vetted for a management program with Geico.  I have been interviewing with them and talking to them weekly for the last few weeks. Once I get my transcripts from the school I think they'll move me forward. So here's hoping that it works out.
If I got the job it would be a big deal, because it sounds like they'll put me to good use, I'll be paid fairly for the work I'm doing and there are raises involved that are awesome. Anyways I'm hopeful that it works out. Even if it doesn't there will be something else that comes up that will be better.
It reminds me of my car shopping. I wanted all these great cars and for what ever reason it just didn't work out. And eventually the perfect thing landed in my lap. I was in the best spot to take advantage of it and it's been awesome ever since. So it's clear that good shit comes around even when the good shit doesn't work out on the first try. 

As far as art goes, here's what's on my mind for the future.
I hope to write another story. Been kicking around a cool idea about a dream world.
I want to do more designs for apparel. I have been slacking. I want to be featured on those sites like TeeFury and Yetee. So that's still something I want to strive for.
I think writing right now is big for me. I think that before I die I want my cool stories to be down somewhere so someone can pick them up and do something more with them later.
I was hoping to get some commissions through the GFM request for money. I would do art in the exchange of money so that way I could survive. But no one has really bitten on that.

I'm hoping to get my life together. I hope today I truly cement myself with good intentions and do my best. I hope that next year at this time I am truly happy. 

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Holy shit I can't believe how long I went without posting.

I have done a lot of work and stuff between my last post and here.

I've been struggling a lot IRL financially but I've been making it through with the support of friends and random people on the internet.
If you'd like to help please consider clicking HERE
Thank you. <3

I also have the link to the Zen and Teebo story Most Current Version HERE!

Here's some stuff I worked on for friends. They helped me financially through donating and commissioning me for work.
I did a portrait for a friend who asked. He wanted a muppet version of himself and I felt like I delivered. =)



My friend Angel wanted to do an art trade so she drew something for me and I drew something for her. I drew an android version of herself and I felt like it captured her essence pretty well.
I'm working on something else for her

Friday, February 8, 2019

First draft of Xen and Teebo!

     Birds fly out of the harsh dense treetops of a woodland area as a loud horn sounds. In the dense trees next to the river, the tribal villagers scramble to their wood and stone homes as the ground shakes. The houses are nestled deep in the ruins of what was a greater society. A roar from an unknown creature is heard. People push past a young boy. He's standing there oblivious to the rise in panic. A stone column topples over and crashes into the river nearby. The crash causes dust to blow in the wind. The wind pushes the dust past the young boy. He's standing there holding out his hand. A bright red and green leaf rustles from the breeze in his hand. The boy makes a clicking sound with his mouth. A gliding lizard lands on his hand and crawls up his arm chewing on the leaf. The boy laughs and pets the lizard with his finger. The hurried sound of footsteps are heard when next to him a hardened young man kneels down.
     "Xen! Are you OK?" He exhales heavily and asks, with his voice very strong and commanding.
     "Yeah, why?" Xen asks curiously, his voice is playful. Xen looks around and sees everyone running around. "What's going on?"
     "Didn't you hear the horn? Stay right here." He demands patting his shoulder harshly, "I will be right back." He steps away into a small gathering of old villagers.
     "OK Shu!" He says giggling trying to keep the lizard from crawling on his head.
     Shu steps up to a small gathering of the village elders.
     "Oh, there you are Shu. We were just talking about you." The shaky old voice from the village chief perks up. His eyes heavy, he looks to Shu. "We know you have some kind of plan! Are you taking Xen with you this time?"
     Shu angrily interjects. "No, he's not ready." He gets defensive with a furrowed brow.
     The village elders laugh, "You would be surprised!" One says in the huddled group. "Look how much you've grown since that age." Another remarks playfully. "We've all come a long way..."
     "This isn't some kind of game!" Shu says, touching the scar on his arm. He rubs his shoulder. "Xen is still too naive." He glances over his shoulder and sees Xen with the lizard and now a giant blue flying horned beetle. "He doesn't understand the kind of danger these creatures contain."
     The horn sounds again but closer now.
     "OK Shuuuu... What's the plan?" The village elders ask with urgency. A strange roar goes off in the distance as the ground rumbling is less intense.
     Shu nods and they discuss actions to take if the city is breached. Xen is keeping a watchful eye on Shu. Shu leans in to the conversation and in that instant Xen rolls into the bushes nearby.
     After explaining the next steps to take Shu looks up and notices Xen isn't there, but at this point he has to hope he will fend for himself in the village walls. He has everyone's lives to think about.
     With his new found freedom Xen begins to run down a path that is a little less beaten. He takes a sharp turn and continues running to a small ruined house. The house was destroyed by something massive and a very long time ago, but in the wreckage is a space where a boy Xen's size can get through. The lizard jumping and gliding keeping up with Xen as he runs to the entrance. Slowly trailing behind is the big blue horned beetle.
     Shu looks back at the elders and nods. He begins to run towards a large tower on the villages outer walls, two young warriors following him trying to keep up with him. A chubby warrior slowly trailing behind.
     Through the entrance Xen comes out on the other side. He stands looking down an old path from ages ago. He jumps through a bush and does a sloppy roll. He gets up and dusts himself off. The lizard landing on his shoulder and the horned beetle hovering over him. He stands in front of a large ruined temple with old faded paintings. In front of the temple were two large stone beasts standing guard. The paintings show humans with large beasts and creatures.
     Shu jumps over a wooden fence and does a stylish roll hopping up to his feet and doing a running jump over a wall. He begins to enter a massive building with huge spikes and large monster bones.
     Xen enters the ruins casually. He directs the lizard to the wall. It glides to the wall and disturbs a string mushrooms. The mushrooms are very large and damp. The sound of rushing water can be heard as the trickling of water can be seen dripping through the wall and onto the mushrooms. The mushrooms shake releasing a small cloud and as the spores spread a light blue hue beings to shine. This illuminates a path down a long dark hallway. The mushrooms glow with a light blue intensity allowing Xen to see the way.
     Xen cheerfully hops and skips down the hallway walking past imagery on the walls. The pictures depict a time from so long ago. Crude pictures of humans interacting with a large variety of beast ranging from small to insanely huge. The mural is some what of a scale and as Xen nears the end of the wall it shows a large beach with a series large creatures as if to guard the shore. The creatures have a colorful set of feathers on it's neck. Off in the distance in the ocean is a massive white and blue water dragon. Only a portion of it is displayed due to the massiveness of it. It's half covered in the ocean. It looks like these creatures guarded the village from danger.
     Xen meanders past and gets settled into his little hideout. He walks into this large room. It's the epicenter of a large temple. The cathedral style has an open roof, but plants and earth have covered up most of it, letting only some spots of natural light in. The bright leaves of a vined plant bares an oddly shaped fruit. Xen picks the fruit and collects the bright colored leaves from it. Xen gets comfortable on a hammock made from an old flag. He eats the interestingly shaped fruit and lays the leaves on his belly. The lizard and the beetle climb to him snacking on the colorful leaves. Xen spits out the pit of the fruit onto the floor.
     Shu enters the warriors guild catching his breath as he walks past a long row of monster trophies. All types of monster parts are on display from jawbones to horns and even claws. Shu grabs a spear that is fashioned with a large colorful feather. The hunters guild opens up from that large hallway to a staging area outside the village. Shu and other warriors are gearing up to go on a scouting mission to see what the alarms were sounding for. A handful of hardened villagers are selected as Shu readies a party to move out. They follow the river up a large cliff face as a way to see over the forest of trees. The high ground has always been the starting point to every mission. It allows them to see creatures before they decide to fight. They live deep in the forest because it acts as a buffer from most creatures. They do not go near the riverbed where the village stays. The river leads to the ocean and the village is next to a beach. In the distance he can see the toppling of trees. It is heading towards the village. The path it's taking is very visible.
    Shu looks over the horizon to see if there is any sign of what the creature could be. A roar is heard. Shu's eyes widen. The image in his eyes show a younger version of himself. He flashes back in his mind. The same roar is heard again. He is breathing heavily as he's frantically looking around.
     "What do I do? What do I do?" He says to himself under his breath as he's standing there holding a spear. He looks around frantically. A piercing scowl of a large creature is heard. It filled him with fear. It sounds like a bear and a cougar. The slam of an enormous gray monster claw next to him. The thick leg crushing a wood and stone house next to him with little effort. He is brought to his knees by the tremors. He looks at his hands. They are scratched and bloody. The terror and fear in this situation is too much to take. Tears flowing from his eyes. He begins to yell.
     "XEN!? Where are you?" He gets up and starts to run. He quickly realizes that this is a fight or flight moment and he is not in a position to fight. As he runs along the stone path he looks up. Above him is the belly of a massive creature. The scales were gray and through the smoke he couldn't make out exactly what it is. All he knew is that it was huge. The sound of crashing water is heard. Screams rattle off as smoke billows to the sky. Smoke from the fires make it hard to see anything. The sound of cracking wood and toppling stone shake through Shu. He scans the area to see if there is any indication of where Xen is.
     Down an alleyway between two buildings Shu spots a swaddled child. Wrapped tightly in a flag of the tribes colors a baby lays crying. A small baby unable to fend for himself. Shu begins to run to him.
     The massive gray monster's feet clashing with the surroundings. An unknown creature lets out a growl that stops him dead in his tracks. He looks up at the rooftops and sees the bright glaring eyes of a monster through the smoke. Above that was the massive claw of the gray scaled beast. The humongous trunk of a leg was coming down. In the light as it was coming down was a glimmer of blue light. Causing him to shield his eyes. Shu knew that leg was coming down on top of him and if he didn't move now he'd be crushed.
     Shu, against his better judgement, started to run and that triggered the eyes in the smoke to slant angrily. His gestures triggered the monster to chase. Through the smoke the creature jumped. It's dark fur and bright feathers around its neck flowing. Shu knew doing that would not end well for him, but he had to do something. The massive claw of the scaled dragon comes crashing down. The dark, feathered monster swipes it's claw at Shu, connecting with his shoulder and causing him to be flung against a stone wall. The wind is knocked out of him. He can't catch his breath as the massive gray claw crushes the building between him and Xen. The dark creature is no where to be seen. The massive gray trunk legs disappear in smoke.
     Trying to slow his breath he closes his eyes. In the chaos it is now oddly silent. Shu looks up and tries to stand holding his spear defensively. Neither creature is in sight. Shu's shoulder is ripped and torn deep. His blood dripping down his arm. He is unable to move his fingers or even move his elbow. He stumbles to his feet propping himself up, his arm dangling there limp. He touches his wound and looks at his bloody hand. He looks around, dizzy. The massive gray scaled monster is gone, all that is left is the ruins of the village. He hears the crashing of the waves near by. It was unreal how quickly things had transpired.
     He looks around and grabs his spear, using it as a walking stick to look for Xen. The smoke clouds break and sunlight shines through. The light points to a small bit of rubble where a village colored flag sits. Shu looks at the earth between him and the rubble, it is scared from a blast of energy. He climbs into the ripped earth. It's soaked as if it were a blast of high powered water. He climbs through it and hurries to the flag. Shu sees that the baby is Xen! He's safe there holding a bright colorful feather cooing happily. Shu holds him up checking him for injuries and holds him close, squeezing him tightly. Everything starts to go dark. Knowing Xen was safe was a huge relief. His vision blurs and it goes black.
     Shu blinks a few times and instantly knows what he's facing. He shakes off the memory and touches his scar. Coming back to reality he rotates his shoulder to remind himself it still works. He scans the edge of the trees looking for any sign of movement. If this monster shows up it could be another catastrophic event. Shu may have a gut feeling but he has to be sure. He begins to head into the dense woods.
     Xen hears what he discerns to be a roar but thinks nothing of it. The lizard gets frightened. It begins to cower using the beetle as cover. This caused a bit of a disturbance with the beetle. It uses it's horn aggressively as the lizard backs away. Xen watching this play out on his stomach laughs. The beetle begins to fly away. Xen, enamored with his new beetle friend tries calling him back with clicks from his mouth.
     "Tsk tsk." Xen motions towards himself.
    The beetle ignores the command and flies away. He flutters around and hits against an oddly broken wall. The beetles tough shell absorbs the impact. It lands on the wall, using his large horn to create a hole. As the beetle continues digging light begins to pour through. It makes a space large enough and it crawls through. Xen follows and is curious about this hole he has never seen before. He looks through it with one big eye and jerks back. It's too bright to see anything. He begins to unearth this new pathway and as the dust settles he hears the soft growl of a creature.
     The growl sounds playful and it tries to roar. Xen slowly peers around the corner. On his shoulder the lizard is also peering over the corner, scared. Xen sees in this small room an old nest woven into these massive roots and in it crawls the beetle.
     Xen looks around the room as he slowly walks to the center of it. The room is small and above the nest is an opening in the roof that leads outside. Vines come through the hole in the ceiling and down through the nest. In the room a small little flow of water travels from the river near by. He sees the bright leaves of the odd shaped fruit that grows on the vines. The threads of vines come through this area touching the water. On the floor next to the nest are pits from the fruit. The colorful leaves scattered around. Something is in here, surviving.
     He slowly walks to the nest. He cautiously places his feet, inching closer to the nest. The beetles wings can be heard fluttering. Xen's eyes slowly look over into the nest. The beetle is wrestling with a small little catlike cub. The cub is pawing at the beetle. It's hard shell defending it against the cubs pats. The paws of the creature are large and fuzzy. The catlike cub raises it's paw, revealing the claws expanding out. On display are these very intense looking razor sharp talons. The lizard instinctively jumps into the nest between the beetle and the cub, protecting the beetle. It's neck flaps extended and colorful. It hisses at the cub, it's saliva dripping from it's mouth. The cub retreats into a defensive position. The cubs ears are folded back. It's eyes show remorse. It sniffs the air and looks at Xen.
     Xen extends his hand out to touch the cub. It closes it's eyes and growls. Xen doesn't rear back. He keeps moving his hand slowly towards it. Xen's eyes are focused on the cub. The cub looks at Xen's hand and takes the aggressive pose like the lizard. The cubs mane reveals a colorful set of small feathers. His hand hovers above the cubs head. For a moment that seems like an eternity Xen holds his hand there. Xen begins to feel nervous. The cub looks up at Xen, it's mouth at a partial snarl, the mane feathers raised. His arm quivers slightly from the strain. The cub moves it's head to his hand and begins to purr. Rubbing it's chin and cheeks on Xens hand, Xen smiles. He pets the cub gently with his other hand.
     Rubbing it's soft fur Xen notices around it's neck these even more beautiful small feathers. The cub is extremely friendly and enjoys the attention Xen gives to him. He begins trying to teach it how to sit, using the clicks. With Xen issuing commands the lizard begins doing the same commands. Xen using hand gestures and clicks easily tames the cub, the cub following the lizards lead. Xen and the cub become bonded. The beetle munching away on the leaves in the nest, the lizard and the cub follow Xen's hand movements and he begins to run around in the room with them chasing. Laughing and playing was his specialty.
     He mumbles under his breath, "I don't know why Shu is so scared of these creatures."
     Xen, thirsty at this point, goes to the little flowing water. The clear blue water coursing by, he cups the water in his hands as he takes a drink. He offers some to the lizard, and to the cub. They drink from his hand. The beetle on Xen's shoulder rotating a leaf in it's mandibles munching away.
     "I should give you a name." Xen thinks out loud. "What do I call you?" He looks around the room. There's words carved and faded into the ruins. He sees the worn image of a large black creature and above it were the faded letters that read, T E E B O.
     "Teebo!" Xen exclaims. "Your name is Teebo!"
     A bellowing roar is heard off in the distance. The cubs ears perk up and it begins to cry repeatedly. The cry is the same high pitch cry, as if it's trying to signal something. The cub frantically looking up through the hole in the ceiling and pacing around. It tries to jump on the vines and climb but it isn't strong enough. Xen cups the cub in his arms and places it in his satchel. Xen curiously climbs up the vines with the cub in tow. It's fuzzy little face poking out of the bag as he firmly stands on the ridge. He looks over the ridge into the distance. He sees the rustling in the trees. Something large is making it's way through the forest. Xen begins to get a little nervous. There hasn't been a large creature near by in, well ever! If there is a large beast this close to the village it means either Shu is fighting it or they are bringing it home as a trophy.
     Down in the wooded area outside the village, a three colored snake writhes up a tree. A sharp thump as Shu's spear severs the snakes head from it's body. The body hits the ground and slithers around. The head sits, resting on the spear. The feather lifts and swirls in a light breeze. He grabs the snakes head and opens it's mouth. He uses the liquid it secretes as a new face paint. He wipes under his eyes. He has bright green markings on his cheeks and down his neck. The liquid stings his eyes. The snake venom will help keep him sharp.
     "Disgusting creatures." He says under his breath as he tosses the head on to the woodlands floor.
     Shu has decided to get close to the beast to see what it is, and be sure. He has to be sure. As he walks casually through the dense wood he strokes the feather on his spear. Its softness going through his fingers as he has a thousand yard stare. He repeatedly strokes it between his fingers, pulling down on it. He is moving through the area as if on auto pilot. The warriors behind him slowly following, fear in their eyes. Shu confidently leads, this is nothing to him.
     Shu and his warriors near a clearing, he motions the group to stop. He moves his hands in a swirling motion. The warriors spread out staying in the trees but close to the actual clearing. The area is very beautiful, open with grass and large flowering buds. Shu positions himself against a tree. He hunkers down. Through the trees nearby a low howl rumbles.
     The trees part and into the clearing Shu sees something that makes his heart stop. The dark fur shines through as a dark blue and purple. The creature from so long ago. He feels weak looking at it. He takes a second to collect himself. The beast walks into the middle of the clearing. Sniffing around, it let's out a low howl again, this time longer. Shu realizes it's looking for something. If it keeps coming this way it will come to the village. We know what happened last time it was there.
     Shu signals and his warriors jump out from the trees, rushing towards the monster. Shu waits and counts to ten. The warriors start yelling as they throw their throwing their hand axes and spears. The beast rears up and it's fur begins to stand on end. It's mane revealing these brilliant colors. The feather on his spear rustles. Shu begins to rush towards the beast. Hatred in his eyes. The beast claws at the warriors and jumps over them with ease. This beast is quick and agile. More dangerous than anything else they have fought before. With a pounce the beast lands on one warrior, crushing him. It snarls looking at all the warriors around him. The eyes slant angrily and the beast lets out a massive roar, stunning everyone around it. Shu stopped dead in his tracks, drops to his knees, covering his ears. The beast swipes, the paw connects with a warrior, and ends up throwing the warrior into the dense woods. His scream was cut short as he hit a tree. The three remaining warriors try to overwhelm the beast by yelling and clanking their weapons. The noise causes the beast to retract. It is being cornered up against the treeline. Shu uses this opportunity to make a strike. He runs full speed and does a flourishing jump from a tree. In the air he spins and the momentum helps him strike. He strikes the beast in the arm with a heavy thrust. The spearhead punctures the monsters arm so deep that Shu can't remove the spear. Shu will not let go. Shu is hanging onto the spear as the monster topples over. It violently begins to thrash around and claw at the wounded arm, trying to remove the spear and Shu. Shu is grasping at the fur trying to get a hold. The only thing stable to hang onto is the shaft of the spear. Shu cannot hang on through this and as he's being flung from the beast he grasps the feather. In that moment he is ripped from the monster with a downward swipe from the beast. The spear breaks and Shu hits the ground. The beast roars, wounded, and slowly slinks away into the dense trees.
     Shu is laying there looking up at the sky and in his clenched fist is the bent bright feather from his spear. Blood spattered on the tip of the feather, it isn't soft anymore. He lay there breathing heavily. The warriors gather around him and help him up. They pick up their weapons and together they say a prayer for their fallen brothers.
    Xen, standing on the ridge saw the scuffle. Even from that distance he witnessed the beauty of the bright feathers on that creature. He saw the beast get away into the woods. Xen had a feeling it was Shu. Xen looks at the cub and sees small little feathers that matched that beast. He quickly put two and two together. This cub is lost and that beast is looking for it's young. Xen climbs back down into ruins. He begins to walk back to the village, but on his way out he stops and looks at the wall. He looks at the massive dragon in the water. He can't quite put his finger on it but when looking at this he knows this is a beast that is untouchable. As he looks down from it he sees on the beach a village that looks similar to the ruins and guarding it was the brilliant feathered creature in the woods. There were several of them. They seemed like guardians of the village.
    As Xen gets back into the village it seems as though life is back to normal. The people bustling around and doing their things as if nothing ever happened. The fishmonger yelling about her fish, the blacksmith hammering away on metal, kids carrying baskets and just overall helping things move smoothly. Xen opens the satchel a little to let the cub see it's surroundings. It sits in the satchel comfortably. Xen carefully begins walking around the village center. People rush past getting here and there. It's a bustling little spot. Village hunters dropping off game at the butchers stall. Leather workers cleaning pelts and stretching leather. A group of soldiers dropping off weapons to be repaired and reforged for the next hunt. As Xen walks by a lumbering fisherman carrying a huge net of flapping fish. The lumbering man shoves past him. The cub begins sniffing the air and squirming in the satchel, Xen spins around and clutches the satchel pressing it close to him. If this cub were to get out it could cause some panic. The cub looks up at him, he rubs the cubs cheeks and pats on his forehead. He tries to distract the cub with his hands and mouth clicks. Then he carefully lets the satchel rest at his side. The cub again tries to get out of the bag. Xen, struggling to keep it contained kneels down to handle it better.
     "C'mon, Teebo! Don't start acting up here. I need to keep you as a secret for now..." He stuffs Teebo's head into the bag gently and closes the satchel.
     Shu and the remaining warriors get to the staging area and begin to unpack. Placing their weapons on racks, they start to get cleaned up. While heading back into the gate Shu looks behind him as if to get the sense that something was watching him. Unable to shake the feeling he scans the treeline very carefully. His eyes dart to anything that moves. A bird swoops down and catches a snake, flying off into the canopy. His ear perks up to an odd soft cry in the woods to the right. A pack doglike creatures darts off into the woods yipping and howling. He closes his eyes and tries to use his other senses. He then does one final look and crosses the threshold into the village. He feels weak without his spear. He has always had it, leaving it behind in that monster made him feel like he left a part of himself elsewhere. He was feeling on high alert. He was doing what he could to brush the feeling off, entering the hunters guild building.
     Xen was able to get the cub to stop struggling and with that he looked to the ocean. The fishmonger began yelling at the big lumbering man, he opened up the net and poured out fish onto a large tarp. Flapping and wet the fish bounced around. The cub began to squirm in the satchel again.  Xen couldn't keep the cub contained as the little fuzzy creature leaped from the pouch. It pounced on a fish, quickly gobbling it up in one bite. The lumbering fisherman let out a high pitched scream as he lifted his leg in fear, pointing at Teebo. The cub, looked up at him with a cute face, fish tail dangling from it's mouth as it chewed on the meat. The fishmonger yelled in shock while grabbing a huge fish hook, as Xen rushed over to contain the cub. The fishmonger began fiercely swiping at the cub with her giant hook. The cub jumped over and dodged her effortlessly. Thinking it was a game the cub began to run away from Xen as he chased. People in the village caught on to the commotion and began to gather around. Xen looked around and knew he was going to get in deep trouble over this. The villagers were now grouping together and formed a human wall around Xen and Teebo. The villagers were furious and scared. It turned into an angry mob very quickly as Xen clutched Teebo in fear. Everyone looking down on him raised fist and yelling.
     Shu entered the village with a small sense of defeat, he couldn't kill the beast and he lost his spear but at least he still had the village and Xen. And in that thought he wondered what Xen had been up to all day. He saw the group of people forming up and heard the angry mob yelling. Confused about what could have possibly happened while he was gone he walked up to them and peered over the crowd. He sees Xen there holding what looks to be a little version of the monster he just fought.
In that instant a booming roar was let out near the village entrance. Shu turned quickly to see the beast perched at the top of the large wall. The roar caused panic in everyone in the town but some villagers wouldn't let Xen go. Xen could only get up and try to run. His instinct was to just run to the beach. He looked for a way through. Xen saw in the sea, far beyond was a large swirling storm cloud. Lightning flashing way off in the distance. The darkness was foreboding.
The roar caused Teebo to get a sudden burst of energy. It was frantically looking around for it's mother. The cub knew mom was nearby and began to fight from Xen's grasp. Xen, getting clawed and scratched on his arms held onto the cub as he ran through the villagers and the wood and stone buildings to get to the beach.
     Shu accidentally lead the beast back to the village. He should have known it was clever, but then he realized that the beast had been here before. Shu understood that the beast could have come back at anytime and could have caused the damage and destruction like before. It must have been the cub that had it all worked up. He put things together but still the village is in danger now, possibly in more trouble than before. Nothing is more dangerous than a mother trying to protect her young. Shu tried to think of something quick. He saw Xen running towards the beach. Something clicked as Shu thought it would be smart to get the large beast into the open and away from all the people.
     Xen, running and crying from the pain of being clawed couldn't hold onto the cub anymore and dropped it as he stumbled and fell onto the hard stone pathway. He was nearing the village outskirts and could hear waves crashing onto the shore. Xen pulls from his satchel some cloth and wraps his arms up to keep the scratches from bleeding. Xen couldn't see where the cub ended up running but as he looked around he saw a large version of the little cub jumping from the rooftops of the wood and stone buildings. His eyes widened as the thoughts connected. His original thoughts of Teebo crying for it's mother had been confirmed.
     Shu had to think of something quick to distract the monster so he did what he does best, fight. Shu grabbed a small sword worn from nearby and started running towards the large black beast, waving his arms and yelling for her attention. The creature let's out a cry as she looks for her cub. Teebo was spouting repetitive high pitched whining as if it was a siren to let it's position be known. Angry villagers begin to take up arms and throw rocks and things at the large black creature.
The mother beast rears back it's hardy paw and unleashes a strike into the crowd of people. The people become more angry but this does not frighten the beast. It looks through the crowd with it's ears rotating, listening for the cry of it's young.
Xen stumbles up and begins to walk to the front of the crowd as the beast sits at the top of a building snarling. Xen isn't scared of monsters like this. He knew from the paintings on the wall that they all used to be together as one.
     "Stand back everyone. I can tame it." Xen says with his arms motioning for everyone to lower their weapons.
     The some of the mob laughs and others exclaim disbelief. Xen turns away from them and looks at the beast making eye contact. Shu is doubtful but let's Xen do his thing, he's seen Xen with creatures before and knows he's got some kind of weird gift. He has to think of another plan. If he were to attack now he could put Xen's life in danger. Shu breaks off and begins to look at the ground searching for the cub. Shu finds the cub mewing and grabs it by the scruff. He looks at it angrily. This is the cause of so much hurt? He looks at the wounded villagers as they are getting help from others.
The beasts eyes focus on Xen. The eyes form little slits as Xen tries to use his skill learned from smaller creatures. The beasts eyes begin to slant in anger. Xen does a few motions and a couple of mouth clicks. The beast looks at Xen curiously as the villagers watch on, murmurs from the crowd express confusion and surprise. Down the street near the beach Shu raises the cub, using it as bait to attract the beast. The cub begins to cry.The beast whips its head towards the crying cub growling. Shu will use this to get close and try to do a finishing blow.
     Xen starts to hum a little song and does the hand motions again and the beast looks back. Xen almost is able to get it to calm down but in that instant Shu thrusts the cub downwards letting it go. The cub hits the floor on all four legs but the force caused it to hit the stone harshly. The cub let out a small low cry. It stands up and begins to slowly walk towards the mother, stunned. The mother beast bolts toward Shu. It leaps into the crowd as people dive out of the way, running angrily towards Shu. It's eyes focused on him. Shu stands there in a stance bracing for impact.
     "SHU!" Xen yells as the beast pounces toward Shu.
     Shu was able to dodge the pounce and makes a grab for the small shaft of his spear in the beasts arm. The beast pulls away, it's back arched angrily. The mouth snarling as the beasts collar flows in the increasing heavy wind. The plumes of feathers shine radiantly. Xen collects Teebo and begins to run towards the beach. Shu follows suit and leads the beast out to the large opening. They reach the beach, Shu, Xen, Teebo are standing there while the mother beast circles them, eyes wide with anger. Xen uses the hand motions to tame Teebo and make it sit and do other commands. Shu watches him while the beast circles them. The villagers watching on the outskirts look on in shock. The wall of darkness in the ocean has creeped up closer. Shu has a strange feeling, an old nagging feeling that something big is happening. It's not everyday a storm like this comes, and having the large beast near the village just feels off. He needs to do something, and now.
     Shu watches Xen and holds his hand out, mimicking him. The large beast stops and it's eyes focus on Shu. Xen clicks using his mouth. The little gliding lizard floats on down and sits next to the cub. Shu tries to imitate but can't quite make the clicking sounds.
     "Take your cheek and pull it from your tongue, then pull your tongue back sucking the air into the back of your throat." Xen tries to teach Shu how to make the sound.
     Shu tries it and finally gets it right. The mother beast sits down.
     Xen holds up his hand and goes "Ah!" The lizard and the cub stand on it's back legs standing up.
     Shu tries to do the same and the large beast listens. The mother beast sits up on her hind legs. Shu is standing there in disbelief as Xen has just taught him how to tame a monster. Shu lets out a shocked laugh and looks at Xen. Xen cheers and gives Shu a hug. Shu hugs him back but steps toward the beast holding his hand out. Xen grabs the cub and cradles it in his arms, petting it.
The beast looks at Shu. Shu looks at the beast. The long eye contact makes Shu think back to the initial accident many years ago. He tries to remember exactly what happened.
     Looking into the beasts eyes takes him back to a part of his memory he repressed. He blinks and next thing he knows he's on the beach, as a younger version of himself. This was before the attack on the village. The fishermen are pulling in their boats and they were talking to each other about how the sea was rough today and it seemed like a bad omen catching the types of fish they got today. Shu thought nothing of it and remembers looking back at his family. His mom and dad were on the beach with little baby Xen slowly learning how to walk in the beach sand. It was peaceful but as he scanned the horizon he saw the wall of darkness brewing. In the corner of his vision were statues of the beasts that looked just like the mother beast. As he turned to look at Xen he noticed that one of the statues wasn't actually a statue, it was a real creature. Or so he thought. His memory isn't clear. The lightning strikes and he comes back to reality.
     Shu was still slowly leaning into the large creature trying to touch it. The beast looking at Shu intensely as he slowly comes forward. Lightning strikes again and startles Shu, but he doesn't break eye contact with the beast as he begins to touch it's head and rubs her ears. The beast stays there in the seated position as Shu touches the beasts mane. Stroking the soft feathers. The beast looks at Shu and gives him a big lick on the side of his head. The sandpaper tongue causes Shu to rub his face. At this point Shu realized that he has to forgive the beast. He can also tell the beast has done the same to him. Xen runs up with Teebo and Xen looks at the creatures wound with the broken spear.
     "The cubs name is Teebo. I found it written on the wall where I found him." He puts Teebo down and looks at the mother beast. "We have to help her Shu! You have to get the spear out." Xen says as Shu nods.
     "This is going to hurt. I am so sorry..." Shu says with remorse. He puts his hand on the beasts forehead. Xen prepares a wrap and an ointment out of supplies in his satchel.
     Shu takes a heavy stance as he grips the broken spear shaft.
     "3. 2.... 1!" Shu counts down and right at one he pulls out the spear head. The beast moans and it's big claw slams the ground. Teebo begins to jump up trying to climb on her to comfort her. She licks her cub as Xen puts on the ointment and wraps the wound. The creature is at complete ease. Shu is shocked as the beast stands up and looks out to the ocean. Shu touches the scar on his arm. He looks at the beast and touches the wrap on her arm.
     "I guess we are one in the same." He says as he lets out a little laugh.
     The village elders get out to the beach and with such delight begin praising Xen. "See Shu, I told you that your little brother was something else!" The village elder states. "That was such a spectacle!" One mutters. "I can't believe my eyes!" Another exclaims.
     Villagers looked down from the outskirts and cheered. Shu looked at the beast and the beast nods to him. Xen picks up Teebo and they look outwards to the sea. The storm brewing out so far with lightning and large waves is quite a scary sight. Out of the water a large blue and white dragon head beings to emerge. Shu grabs his broken spear and in the sand was some plumes of the brilliant feathers. He grabs one as they head back to the village.
     The beast sits there on the shore looking outward as if to guard the beach as the rolling clouds bring in a heavy wind and light rain. Thunder crashes and a roar rings out that hasn't been heard in many years. The blue and white dragon lowers it's head as it starts to head towards the village. A horn sounds and birds fly out from the tops of the trees as the story ends like it had begun.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Xen & Teebo / Minor Edits and Additions. Getting down into the Climax.

     Birds fly out of the harsh dense treetops of a woodland area as a loud horn sounds. In the dense trees next to the river, the tribal villagers scramble to their wood and stone homes as the ground shakes. The houses are nestled deep in the ruins of what was a greater society. A roar from an unknown creature is heard. People push past a young boy. He's standing there oblivious to the rise in panic. A stone column topples over and crashes into the river nearby. The crash causes dust to blow in the wind. The wind pushes the dust past the young boy. He's standing there holding out his hand. A bright red and green leaf rustles from the breeze in his hand. The boy makes a clicking sound with his mouth. A gliding lizard lands on his hand and crawls up his arm chewing on the leaf. The boy laughs and pets the lizard with his finger. The hurried sound of footsteps are heard when next to him a hardened young man kneels down.
     "Xen! Are you OK?" He exhales heavily and asks, with his voice very strong and commanding.
     "Yeah, why?" Xen asks curiously, his voice is playful. Xen looks around and sees everyone running around. "What's going on?"
     "Didn't you hear the horn? Stay right here." He demands patting his shoulder harshly, "I will be right back." He steps away into a small gathering of old villagers.
     "OK Shu!" He says giggling trying to keep the lizard from crawling on his head.
     Shu steps up to a small gathering of the village elders.
     "Oh, there you are Shu. We were just talking about you." The shaky old voice from the village chief perks up. His eyes heavy, he looks to Shu. "We know you have some kind of plan! Are you taking Xen with you this time?"
     Shu angrily interjects. "No, he's not ready." He gets defensive with a furrowed brow.
     The village elders laugh, "You would be surprised!" One says in the huddled group. "Look how much you've grown since that age." Another remarks playfully. "We've all come a long way..."
     "This isn't some kind of game!" Shu says, touching the scar on his arm. He rubs his shoulder. "Xen is still too naive." He glances over his shoulder and sees Xen with the lizard and now a giant blue flying horned beetle. "He doesn't understand the kind of danger these creatures contain."
     The horn sounds again but closer now.
     "OK Shuuuu... What's the plan?" The village elders ask with urgency. A strange roar goes off in the distance as the ground rumbling is less intense.
     Shu nods and they discuss actions to take if the city is breached. Xen is keeping a watchful eye on Shu. Shu leans in to the conversation and in that instant Xen rolls into the bushes nearby.
     After explaining the next steps to take Shu looks up and notices Xen isn't there, but at this point he has to hope he will fend for himself in the village walls. He has everyone's lives to think about.
     With his new found freedom Xen begins to run down a path that is a little less beaten. He takes a sharp turn and continues running to a small ruined house. The house was destroyed by something massive and a very long time ago, but in the wreckage is a space where a boy Xen's size can get through. The lizard jumping and gliding keeping up with Xen as he runs to the entrance. Slowly trailing behind is the big blue horned beetle.
     Shu looks back at the elders and nods. He begins to run towards a large tower on the villages outer walls, two young warriors following him trying to keep up with him. A chubby warrior slowly trailing behind.
     Through the entrance Xen comes out on the other side. He stands looking down an old path from ages ago. He jumps through a bush and does a sloppy roll. He gets up and dusts himself off. The lizard landing on his shoulder and the horned beetle hovering over him. He stands in front of a large ruined temple with old faded paintings. The paintings show humans with large beasts and creatures.
     Shu jumps over a wooden fence and does a stylish roll hopping up to his feet and doing a running jump over a wall. He begins to enter a massive building with large spikes and large monster bones.
     Xen enters the ruins casually. He directs the lizard to the wall. It glides to the wall and disturbs a string mushrooms. The mushrooms are very large and damp. The sound of rushing water can be heard as the trickling of water can be seen dripping through the wall and onto the mushrooms. The mushrooms shake releasing a small cloud and as the spores spread a light blue hue beings to shine. This illuminates a path down a long dark hallway. The mushrooms glow with a light blue intensity allowing Xen to see the way.
     Xen cheerfully hops and skips down the hallway walking past imagery on the walls. The pictures depict a time from so long ago. Crude pictures of humans interacting with a large variety of beast ranging from small to insanely huge. The mural is some what of a scale and as Xen nears the end of the wall it shows a large beach with a large creature as if to guard the shore. The creature has a colorful set of feathers. Off in the distance in the ocean is a massive white and blue water dragon. Only a portion of it is displayed due to the massiveness of it. It's half covered in the ocean.
     Xen meanders past and gets settled into his little hideout. He walks into this large room. It's the epicenter of a large temple. The cathedral style has an open roof, but plants and earth have covered up most of it, letting only some spots of natural light in. The bright leaves of a vined plant bares an oddly shaped fruit. Xen picks the fruit and collects the bright colored leaves from it. Xen gets comfortable on a hammock made from an old flag. He eats the interestingly shaped fruit and lays the leaves on his belly. The lizard and the beetle climb to him snacking on the colorful leaves. Xen spits out the pit of the fruit onto the floor.
     Shu enters the warriors guild catching his breath as he walks past a long row of monster trophies. All types of monster parts are on display from jawbones to horns and even claws. Shu grabs a spear that is fashioned with a large colorful feather. The hunters guild opens up from that large hallway to a staging area outside the village. Shu and other warriors are gearing up to go on a scouting mission to see what the alarms were sounding for. A handful of hardened villagers are selected as Shu readies a party to move out. They follow the river up a large cliff face as a way to see over the forest of trees. The high ground has always been the starting point to every mission. It allows them to see creatures before they decide to fight. They live deep in the forest because it acts as a buffer from most creatures. They do not go near the riverbed where the village stays. The river leads to the ocean and the village is next to a beach. In the distance he can see the toppling of trees. It is heading towards the village. The path it's taking is very visible.
    Shu looks over the horizon to see if there is any sign of what the creature could be. A roar is heard. Shu's eyes widen. The image in his eyes show a younger version of himself. He flashes back in his mind. The same roar is heard again. He is breathing heavily as he's frantically looking around.
     "What do I do? What do I do?" He says to himself under his breath as he's standing there holding a spear. He looks around frantically. A piercing scowl of a large creature is heard. It filled him with fear. It sounds like a bear and a cougar. The slam of an enormous gray monster claw next to him. The thick leg crushing a wood and stone house next to him with little effort. He is brought to his knees by the tremors. He looks at his hands. They are scratched and bloody. The terror and fear in this situation is too much to take. Tears flowing from his eyes. He begins to yell.
     "XEN!? Where are you?" He gets up and starts to run. He quickly realizes that this is a fight or flight moment and he is not in a position to fight. As he runs along the stone path he looks up. Above him is the belly of a massive creature. The scales were gray and through the smoke he couldn't make out exactly what it is. All he knew is that it was huge. The sound of crashing water is heard. Screams can be heard as smoke billows to the sky. Smoke from the fires make it hard to see anything. The sound of cracking wood and toppling stone shake through Shu. He scans the area to see if there is any indication of where Xen is.
     Down an alleyway between two buildings Shu spots a swaddled child. Wrapped tightly in a flag of the tribes colors a baby lays crying. A small baby unable to fend for himself. Shu begins to run to him.
     The massive gray monster's feet clashing with the surroundings. An unknown creature lets out a growl that stops him dead in his tracks. He looks up at the rooftops and sees the bright glaring eyes of a monster through the smoke. Above that was the massive claw of the gray scaled beast. The humongous trunk of a leg was coming down. In the light as it was coming down was a glimmer of blue light. Causing him to shield his eyes. Shu knew that leg was coming down on top of him and if he didn't move now he'd be crushed.
     Shu, against his better judgement, started to run and that triggered the eyes in the smoke to slant angrily. His gestures triggered the monster to chase. Through the smoke the creature jumped. It's dark fur and bright feathers around its neck flowing. Shu knew doing that would not end well for him, but he had to do something. The massive claw of the scaled dragon comes crashing down. The dark, feathered monster swipes it's claw at Shu, connecting with his shoulder and causing him to be flung against a stone wall. The wind is knocked out of him. He can't catch his breath as the massive gray claw crushes the building between him and Xen. The dark creature is no where to be seen. The massive gray trunk legs disappear in smoke.
     Trying to slow his breath he closes his eyes. In the chaos it is now oddly silent. Shu looks up and tries to stand holding his spear defensively. Neither creature is in sight. Shu's shoulder is ripped and torn deep. His blood dripping down his arm. He is unable to move his fingers or even move his elbow. He stumbles to his feet propping himself up, his arm dangling there limp. He touches his wound and looks at his bloody hand. He looks around, dizzy. The massive gray scaled monster is gone, all that is left is the ruins of the village. He hears the crashing of the waves near by. It was unreal how quickly things had transpired.
     He looks around and grabs his spear, using it as a walking stick to look for Xen. The smoke clouds break and sunlight shines through. The light points to a small bit of rubble where a village colored flag sits. Shu looks at the earth and it is scared from a blast of energy. He climbs into the ripped earth. It's soaked as if it were a blast of high powered water. He climbs through it and hurries to the flag. Shu sees that the baby is Xen! He's safe there holding a bright colorful feather cooing happily. Shu holds him up checking him for injuries and holds him close, squeezing him tightly. Everything starts to go dark. Knowing Xen was safe was a huge relief. His vision blurs and it goes black.
     Shu blinks a few times and instantly knows what he's facing. He shakes off the memory and touches his scar. Coming back to reality he rotates his shoulder to remind himself it still works. He scans the edge of the trees looking for any sign of movement. If this monster shows up it could be another catastrophic event. Shu may have a gut feeling but he has to be sure. He begins to head into the dense woods.
     Xen hears what he discerns to be a roar but thinks nothing of it. The lizard gets frightened. It begins to cower using the beetle as cover. This caused a bit of a disturbance with the beetle. It uses it's horn aggressively as the lizard backs away. Xen watching this play out on his stomach laughs. The beetle begins to fly away. Xen, enamored with his new beetle friend tries calling him back with clicks from his mouth.
     "Tsk tsk." Xen motions towards himself.
    The beetle ignores the command and flies away. He flutters around and hits against an oddly broken wall. It's tough shell absorbing the impact. It lands on the wall, using his large horn to create a hole. As it's digging light beings to pour through. It makes a space large enough and it crawls through. Xen follows and is curious about this hole he has never seen before. He looks through it with one big eye and jerks back. It's too bright to see anything. He begins to unearth this new pathway and as the dust settles he hears the soft growl of a creature.
     The growl sounds playful and it tries to roar. Xen slowly peers around the corner. On his shoulder the lizard is also peering over the corner, scared. Xen sees in this small room an old nest woven into these massive roots and in it crawls the beetle.
     Xen looks around the room as he slowly walks to the center of it. The room is small and above the nest is an opening in the roof that leads outside. Vines come through the hole in the ceiling and down through the nest. In the room a small little flow of water travels from the river near by. He sees the bright leaves of the odd shaped fruit that grows on the vines. The threads of vines come through this area touching the water. On the floor next to the nest are pits from the fruit. The colorful leaves scattered around. Something is in here, surviving.
     He slowly walks to the nest. He cautiously places his feet, inching closer to the nest. The beetles wings can be heard fluttering. Xen's eyes slowly look over into the nest. The beetle is wrestling with a small little catlike cub. The cub is pawing at the beetle. It's hard shell defending it against the cubs pats. The paws of the creature are large and fuzzy. The catlike cub raises it's paw, revealing the claws expanding out. On display are these very intense looking razor sharp talons. The lizard instinctively jumps into the nest between the beetle and the cub, protecting the beetle. It's neck flaps extended and colorful. It hisses at the cub, it's saliva dripping from it's mouth. The cub retreats into a defensive position. The cubs ears are folded back. It's eyes show remorse. It sniffs the air and looks at Xen.
     Xen extends his hand out to touch the cub. It closes it's eyes and growls. Xen doesn't rear back. He keeps moving his hand slowly towards it. Xen's eyes focused on the cub. The cub looks at Xen's hand and takes the aggressive pose like the lizard. The cubs mane reveals a colorful set of small feathers. His hand hovers above the cubs head. For a moment that seems like an eternity Xen holds his hand there. Xen begins to feel nervous. The cub looks up at Xen, it's mouth at a partial snarl, the mane feathers raised. His arm quivers slightly from the strain. The cub moves it's head to his hand and begins to purr. Rubbing it's chin and cheeks on Xens hand, Xen smiles. He pets the cub gently with his other hand.
     Rubbing it's soft fur Xen notices around it's neck these even more beautiful small feathers. The cub is extremely friendly and enjoys the attention Xen gives to him. He begins trying to teach it how to sit, using the clicks. With Xen issuing commands the lizard begins doing the same commands. Xen using hand gestures and clicks easily tames the cub, the cub following the lizards lead. Xen and the cub become bonded. The beetle munching away on the leaves in the nest, the lizard and the cub follow Xen's hand movements and he begins to run around in the room with them chasing. Laughing and playing was his specialty.
     He mumbles under his breath, " I don't know why Shu is so scared of these guys."
     Xen, thirsty at this point goes to the little flowing water. The clear blue water coursing by, he cups the water in his hands as he takes a drink. He offers some to the lizard, and to the cub. They drink from his hand. The beetle on Xen's shoulder rotating a leaf in it's mandibles munching away.
     A bellowing roar is heard off in the distance. The cubs ears perk up and it begins to cry repeatedly. The cry is the same high pitch cry, as if it's trying to signal something. The cub frantically looking up through the hole in the ceiling and pacing around. It tries to jump on the vines and climb but it isn't strong enough. Xen cups the cub in his arms and places it in his satchel. Xen curiously climbs up the vines with the cub in tow. It's fuzzy little face poking out of the bag as he firmly stands on the ridge. He looks over the ridge into the distance. He see's the rustling in the trees. Something large is making it's way through the forest. Xen begins to get a little nervous. There hasn't been a large creature near by in, well ever!
     Down in the wooded area outside the village, a three colored snake writhes up a tree. A sharp thump as Shu's spear severs the snakes head from it's body. The body hits the ground and slithers around. The head resting on the spear. The feather lifts and swirls in a light breeze. He grabs the snakes head and opens it's mouth. He uses the liquid it secretes as a new face paint. He wipes under his eyes. He has bright green markings on his cheeks and down his neck. The liquid stings his eyes. The snake venom will help keep him sharp.
     "Disgusting creatures." He says under his breath as he tosses the head on to the woodlands floor.
     Shu has decided to get close to the beast to see what it is, and be sure. He has to be sure. As he walks casually through the dense wood he strokes the feather on his spear. It's softness going through his fingers as he has a thousand yard stare. He repeatedly strokes it between his fingers, pulling down on it. He is moving through the area as if on auto pilot. The warriors behind him slowly following, fear in their eyes. Shu confidently leads, this is nothing to him.
     Shu and his warriors near a clearing, he motions the group to stop. He moves his hands in a swirling motion. The warriors spread out staying in the trees but close to the actual clearing. The area is very beautiful, open with grass and large flowering buds. Shu positions himself against a tree. He hunkers down. Through the trees nearby a low howl rumbles.
     The trees part and into the clearing Shu sees something that makes his heart stop. The dark fur shines through as a dark blue and purple. The creature from so long ago. He feels weak looking at it. He takes a second to collect himself. The beast walks into the middle of the clearing. Sniffing around, it let's out a low howl again, this time longer. Shu realizes it's looking for something. If it keeps coming this way it will come to the village. We know what happened last time it was there.
     Shu signals and his warriors jump out from the trees, rushing towards the monster. Shu waits and counts to ten. The warriors start yelling as they throw their throwing their hand axes and spears. The beast rears up and it's fur begins to stand on end. It's mane revealing these brilliant colors. The feather on his spear rustles. Shu begins to rush towards the beast. Hatred in his eyes. The beast claws at the warriors and jumps over them with ease. This beast is quick and agile. More dangerous than anything else they have fought before. With a pounce the beast lands on one warrior, crushing him. It snarls looking at all the warriors around him. The eyes slant angrily and the beast let's out a massive roar, stunning everyone around it. Shu stopped dead in his tracks drops to his knees, covering his ears. The beast swipes, the paw connects with a warrior, and ends up throwing the warrior into the dense woods. His scream was cut short as he hit a tree. The three remaining warriors try to overwhelm the beast by yelling and clanking their weapons. The noise causes the beast to retract. It is being cornered up against the treeline. Shu uses this opportunity to make a strike. He runs full speed and does a flourishing jump from a tree. In the air he spins and the momentum helps him strike. He strikes the beast in the arm with a heavy thrust. The spearhead punctures the monsters arm so deep that Shu can't remove the spear. Shu will not let go. Shu is hanging onto the spear as the monster topples over. It violently begins to thrash around and claw at the wounded arm, trying to remove the spear and Shu. Shu is grasping at the fur trying to get a hold. The only thing stable to hang onto is the shaft of the spear. Shu cannot hang on through this and as he's being flung from the beast he grasps the feather. In that moment he is ripped from the monster with a downward swipe from the beast. The spear breaks and Shu hits the ground. The beast roars, wounded, and slowly slinks away into the dense trees.
     Shu is laying there looking up at the sky and in his clenched fist is the bent bright feather from his spear. Blood spattered on the tip of the feather, it isn't soft anymore. He lay there breathing heavily. The warriors gather around him and help him up. They pick up their weapons and together they say a prayer for their fallen brothers.
    Xen, standing on the ridge saw the scuffle. Even from that distance he witnessed the beauty of the bright feathers on that creature. He saw the beast get away into the woods. Xen had a feeling it was Shu. Xen looks at the cub and sees small little feathers that matched that beast. He quickly put two and two together. This cub is lost and that beast is looking for it's young. Xen climbs back down into ruins. He begins to walk back to the village, but on his way out he stops and looks at the wall. He looks at the massive dragon in the water. He can't quite put his finger on it but when looking at this he knows this is a beast that is untouchable. As he looks down from it he sees on the beach a village that looks similar to the ruins and guarding it was the brilliant feathered creature in the woods.
    As Xen gets back into the village it seems as though life is back to normal. The people bustling around and doing their things as if nothing ever happened. The fishmonger yelling about her fish, the blacksmith hammering away on metal, kids carrying baskets and just overall helping things move smoothly.

Here's the ending I still need to sort through and build up.
The cub escapes / at the same time Shu leads the beast back to their village on accident /
the monster roars and the cub runs, xen chases and shu chases they end up clashing in the middle of the village market / people are scared. Shu tries to appeal to the fear in people but Xen shows that the cub is tame / the beast lashes out protecting the young cub. Shu hurts the beast more on the wound he created. Xen tries to tame the big beast like the cub but fails. The villagers push them out of the city. They end up on the beach. A large storm swirling in the ocean, lightening, crazy wind. Large waves crashing on the shore. The monster and cub are on the beach the angry villagers trying to end the terror / Shu sees an opportunity to kill the monster. He has a flashback to the village before the ruin, and remembers how his parents died. A flash of lightening triggers him into the flashback. The storm and the blue and white water dragon came. The clouds weren't smoke clouds it was the dragon's fault. The use of his water/energy blasts. The dragon destroyed the house they were in. which is why his hands were bloody and scraped. the blast thrust him forward and he scraped his hands trying to stop. This was the beginning part of the trauma he forgot. He only ever remembered trying to find Xen and the beast that hurt him. Shu realizes that the beast saved him, despite his grave wound. The blue and white water dragon is the true threat. Shu forgives the beast and actually tames the large monster He removes the spear and helps tend his wound. Things settle down and the village is reminded of what time was before the fear controlled them. The village elders celebrate Xen reminding shu that they knew he was great.
the end of the story reminds us,  on the shore the storm comes closer and in the distance the white and blue dragon emerges. Xen