Tuesday, February 28, 2017

I am here.

I made a new sticker pack and a design with the unicorn for other products.
I originally drew the unicorn for a woman I was courting for a short while.
We met online and had a great connection. I thought that I might have found someone worth investing time in.
I was foolish, like most times when a woman takes interest in me.
I drew her pictures and I even wrote her a poem.
I really liked the unicorn I drew for her and after nothing came of the relation I decided it would be best to share it with others instead of just keeping it to myself.
I decided to make a sticker pack including it, as well as making a separate design for t's and other products!

check it out HERE

I went with a playful style and color palette.

I made something new for the stream.

I updated a bunch of stuff the other day with the new images and junk.
The stream is back online and we've actually been having a lot of fun.
I think getting back to casting has really helped out.
The picture is just me like the Bandit from Borderlands. Nothing too exciting. Something quick and notable.

Here are the next few pages to the Oliver & Monsterbutt comic.

Pages are coming out of me at a snails pace but I'm glad to be making something involving that story.
I have been feeling good trying to tell my story. Been thinking about composition and how to show things for this story to make it interesting to look at. 
I hope that once it's all roughed out I can get back to the start and clean everything up, making it look nicer.
I'd like to compile it all and have a book.

I wrote something the other day that I think helped me get some shit straight.

I guess it was just a confession to myself.

It went like this:
OK - searching and reading about coping mechanisms has really helped me start to feel better.
I think step one was to admit I was hurting then understand shit was not right.
I genuinely wan to feel better. I want love and respect. I want happiness.
These are all things that emanate internally. So you gotta look in the inside and see what needs repairs. No one is perfect. Everyone is striving for something more.
We all need love - we all need that feeling of acceptance and we all need to succeed and have that feeling of achievement. People say HOPE is the reason to keep trying. It worked for me for a short while. I felt like I could keep going but I kept taking each failure as a personal attack against everything that is "me."
It's hard to move on after a failure - But if there's anything I learned in college, it's to keep trying. You will eventually make it with the support of those around you. Even when it feels like no one is there, you definitely have someone on your side.
trying to stop the negative is impossible but you can talk back and show yourself these thoughts are not TRUE. Your mind is a convincing liar. It will do the easiest thing. The path of least resistance. And where you grow is beyond that path Success is on the other side of fear. Or so they say. Just gotta keep trying and moving forward.

Thursday, February 16, 2017


Got some ideas working for Oliver & Monsterbutt.
Struggling with the will to keep going lately.
I'm sure it will pass.
Something will finally break way and I will propel myself into happiness.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

I made a list of things to do.

I want to work on some stuff that's fan art related.
I wrote down a list of things in my sketch book.

Sylvanas, the banshee queen.
Not sure what to do with this one yet just because she's very popular and a lot of fan art exists of her already. But never the less I want to do something.

Panty & Stocking x Gorillaz cover album.
I got some ideas for that going on. But the iconic Gorillaz album crossed with Panty, Stocking, Garterbelt and Brief.

OverWatch - Zarya
I have this idea of her hand shaking a bear. Like a bro grab. So I'm going to try to execute something cool with it.

Diablo 3 - Zachy Witch Doctor
got a rough drawing of this already.

Monster Hunter Sticker Pack.
Already completed this today. Feeling pretty good about it. Something simple and fun.

Amethyst - Steven Universe
I want to do a gem sticker pack but I want to do something focusing around Amethyst cause I love her. <3

Stuff going on in my life right now.
I got a job late January.
It came at the perfect time. I was seriously out of everything and was getting by counting change for food.
I bike 6 miles a day for the job, 3 there and 3 back home.
The job is nice and chill. The staff is cool and we just work on making sure people are happy.
I enjoy the job just because it's the shit I do all the time. Talk to people and help them get stuff they want.
Glad I walked out on the tea shop. Scariest and most relieving moment of my life.
I'm working on eating healthier and trying to be kinder to myself.
I've been resting just keeping up with things regularly.
I haven't streamed on Twitch in a bit, just because of adjusting to the new schedule. I haven't felt bad about it either.
It's like, what ever. I want to play games and be a twitch somebody- but I just don't think I'm in the right spot to do it all.
So we'll see if I ever go back.
I also have been failing at the dating world. Trying to find someone worth your time and effort is fucking challenging as fuck.
I know it's when you least expect it, things just work out but honestly I'm tired of feeling lonely all the time.
Also, not sure if I said it but I rescued a cat.
His name is Garth and we've been hanging out since the 11th of January!
He's like a little best bud, even though he's freaking annoying when he wants attention. But what cat isn't.

anyways, see ya next time.