I felt good about October. For the most part.

I felt good at the end of October. I felt accomplished. Like I had done something good.
All I did was make it. I made it to November. What an accomplishment! 

High fives all around. But after it sunk in... 

Here I am, the 14th and I'm a shadow of my former self.

I really have been trying to take an inventory and see what makes me happy.
I've been so dark and sad for so long.
Something said to me kind of put in in perspective. I was told, what happened to your drive? When I met you, you were really passionate about making stuff, and you had this aura, but now it's dimmed, or gone. 

It made me think, like damn, what am I bringing to the table?

I really need to stop wallowing in my shit pile.

It's time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. 

Get back to making stuff you feel cool about. Get back to doing things you feel cool about. 

Where did it go? I need to go on a mission to mind myself again.

I need to soul search and do some art studies.
I really need to find my voice again. Find my drive and passion.

I need to figure out how to start.