Accountability accountability accountability accountability accountability

Been dealing with a lot of issues lately involving holding myself accountable for my actions.
I kind of just don't give a shit about anything much right now.
I realized I have been going through these ups and downs around the same times but years apart. It's wild.
I go through these arcs of being happy and achieving a lot then dips where I just want to die and not exist anymore.
I hate feeling the downs. It hurts my spirit and will so much.
I can't believe how little I have my life together.
I keep trying to be things that I want in my heart but I just can't seem to get anywhere with it.
I feel like I'm destined to just be mediocre forever.
I just keep thinking. Make stuff that you think is cool.
And I keep tying.
Keep streaming on twitch and having fun.
I keep trying.
One day it will happen, right?
One day?
It's like finding the right person.
One day they will just show up.
Right?

I could not get to work today. Just nothing was there.
No calling. No inspiration. I felt like a drag.
But then I kept thinking about the stuff I like.
So here are some cool pokemon stickers I'll be having at Tucson Comic Con.
I'll have big and small.