Ope. Meant to post this last week. (It has nothing to do with you)

Hey there reader.
Welcome back. Here's something new for you to gawk at.
I'm 32 and working dead end jobs.
There's no future.
That's why I have been down on myself lately.
I have nothing I'm working towards and the work I'm doing is going towards just maintenance.
It does not move me forward in any aspect.
In finding that out I realize I have to do something that's meaningful to me.
I'd love for my past goals to have worked out. The reality is that they didn't. Either because I didn't try hard enough, there wasn't anything out there for me here, or a combo of both.
I think the fear of stagnating I had years ago has taken hold for sure.
I'm such a creature of routine. There's no real excuse for how things ended up this way.
I think I always just took the easy road.

I've been trying to write for my story and I think I reached a point where I'm a bit turned off by it.
I don't think it's going to make it. Like I need to go beyond what it is and take it a level deeper.
Like, peel back the core of the story and put more of a flair on it that keeps it interesting.

I want to touch on my child abuse and domestic violence.
I want to go on about how the little things helped me keep going.
But I want it to be engaging. I think that I'm just like, too surface level with it.
I have wanted to write a show about a guy and his best friend who's dead but they end up in video games and they have to escape.
I think maybe I can do something with that.
I can combine the two things into one and see how it works out. No work created is wasted work.
It's always another step in the right direction.

Maybe on the surface the story is about a boy who's really good at what he does. He's a master at all these games and in his imagination he's this unstoppable thing, but then something starts creeping into the games and soiling it. And he starts getting whooped. And beat down. And it's always this force that he can't explain.
It starts off small but then it gets really debilitating. Where he's suffering from harsh shit.
Then he finds the monster, which is tough to make a friend out of him at first, but then they have to work together to stop the Evil from taking over.
I think we can ditch the real life shit and the facade of it all and just go into a level deeper.
I keep thinking of Adventure Time and how it's like, there are references to the world we know and accept, and then it smudges over and you have this world they exist in which is just "after" our time.
The references to it, and the darkness of it all, and the shit with the Lich. It's like that level of deep.
That's what I'm thinking about achieving.