Tuesday, February 28, 2017
I am here.
I originally drew the unicorn for a woman I was courting for a short while.
We met online and had a great connection. I thought that I might have found someone worth investing time in.
I was foolish, like most times when a woman takes interest in me.
I drew her pictures and I even wrote her a poem.
I really liked the unicorn I drew for her and after nothing came of the relation I decided it would be best to share it with others instead of just keeping it to myself.
I decided to make a sticker pack including it, as well as making a separate design for t's and other products!
check it out HERE
I went with a playful style and color palette.
I made something new for the stream.
I updated a bunch of stuff the other day with the new images and junk.
The stream is back online and we've actually been having a lot of fun.
I think getting back to casting has really helped out.
The picture is just me like the Bandit from Borderlands. Nothing too exciting. Something quick and notable.
Pages are coming out of me at a snails pace but I'm glad to be making something involving that story.
I have been feeling good trying to tell my story. Been thinking about composition and how to show things for this story to make it interesting to look at.
I hope that once it's all roughed out I can get back to the start and clean everything up, making it look nicer.
I'd like to compile it all and have a book.
I wrote something the other day that I think helped me get some shit straight.
I guess it was just a confession to myself.
It went like this:
OK - searching and reading about coping mechanisms has really helped me start to feel better.
I think step one was to admit I was hurting then understand shit was not right.
I genuinely wan to feel better. I want love and respect. I want happiness.
These are all things that emanate internally. So you gotta look in the inside and see what needs repairs. No one is perfect. Everyone is striving for something more.
We all need love - we all need that feeling of acceptance and we all need to succeed and have that feeling of achievement. People say HOPE is the reason to keep trying. It worked for me for a short while. I felt like I could keep going but I kept taking each failure as a personal attack against everything that is "me."
It's hard to move on after a failure - But if there's anything I learned in college, it's to keep trying. You will eventually make it with the support of those around you. Even when it feels like no one is there, you definitely have someone on your side.
trying to stop the negative is impossible but you can talk back and show yourself these thoughts are not TRUE. Your mind is a convincing liar. It will do the easiest thing. The path of least resistance. And where you grow is beyond that path Success is on the other side of fear. Or so they say. Just gotta keep trying and moving forward.