Saturday, November 12, 2016

Thoughts and Feelings since the last post.




I wish I would have taken my own advice from last year and did some shit that's popular from Tumblr.
I would have made some money and actually sold stuff.
But I stayed true to myself and made stuff that was emotionally satisfying to me.
I was hoping more people would jump on the wagon and support me.
I guess it's a little too far fetched. Seeing other famous comic book artists not do so well at this con was kind of uplifting. But hearing it was the worst convention they've ever done was really shitty cause this is my home. So to hear my community wasn't as supportive or up to par with others was a little disheartening.
I just kept thinking to keep making stuff that I like, and someone else, even if it's one person will like it too.
I sold a lot of stuff that I personally loved making, but just not enough to cover the costs of making it.
It's fine, I'm not bitter about it. I had a great con.
It was fun hanging out, laughing, enjoying the other artists art and perspective.
I met a lot of great people.
It was 100% worth the money. I kind of felt like not doing it again though.
Skip out next year, but if I really try this year and make stuff that's middle ground I might make some headway.
The people making money this con looked like just cheap prints. $10 11x17 prints with deals for other ones, who had 40+ images done.
So they had a huge selection with cheap deals. It looked like they were making money hand over fist.
I just don't want to take that route.
We'll see how things play out.
I'm borderline at the point of just giving up on everything again.
My laptop isn't holding up for casting on Twitch at the moment.
I can make art on it. Playing games though, it's been having a rough time managing simple tasks like running a game and capturing at the same time.
I was hoping to have a new computer already but my support online is next to null lately.
It's really just pushing me away from trying it as a career avenue.
I just feel less and less capable as time goes on.
I'm going to try to make a lot of stuff that's mashing up my favorite things with other things to keep on goal with making something for RIPT, Teefury, and Yetee.
I really just feel like a failure lately.
It was cool to make a couple of bucks at Comic Con, pay for the booth and the other fees. But it's just like, that's all. Nothing to pay myself back, just that emotional satisfaction that I did something.
Which it feels good to make the art. It feels good to go live on Twitch, to broadcast my experiences and share art.
I just feel so empty right now.
I honestly just feel like giving up on everything.
When do I really ever feel different?
I feel like a broken record.
I'm definitely broken.

3 comments:

  1. Isn't Overwatch popular on tumblr though?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have no idea how to operate on tumblr. I logged in the other day to see what's going in and I can't seem to navigate it and find those popular veins.
    I thought overwatch stuff would be popular but I guess the sprays weren't that interesting or cool.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are interesting! I haven't seen anyone else making any. And I don't know how tumblr works either. Maybe overwatched is just so popular your stuff gets lost in the tags easily. Maybe make something slightly more niche for a while and see how it goes ?

      Delete