How are things going?
I'm just getting some stuff done. Feeling good about the work I just produced. Going to focus on stuff for animation hopefully soon.
I'd like to have some work started on my personal cartoon idea.
I've been listening to this band Mystery Skulls.
This one song has just got me feeling all kinds of crazy.
The lyrics really got through to me. It's like the artist knew my struggle too. He was just singing to me. It reminds me of when I first heard Korns self titled album. Or even when I heard Trent Reznor and his voice... They had a grip and a profound effect on me.
I think it's a great thing.
Mystery Skulls - Money
^ There's the link if you want to check it out.
As for the work I just completed, you can see all the products it's on at RedBubble.
Teenage Mute Hero Hylians
There's the .png of the work. Enjoy that.
As for me. Personally. Mentally. Physically.
I just... I'm trying to fight this feeling for someone.
I know she doesn't fucking care about me. But I can't help but feel hopeful there's a chance.
I know deep down inside she likes me...
She's just not willing to work with me. She blames her current issues and things, when I know that when we kissed it was something fucking real.
I haven't felt magical in a while. This girl is my "fuck yes!" This girl makes me want to just explode. My heart.. Just thinking about her...
I think she isn't on the same page but I let her know how I feel.
I did my part.
The situation is like this: I'm Ash, and she's Charizard.
I want to have her on my team at all times, but she just wont listen and ignores me. She's too powerful for me to train properly.
I'm not saying I want to train her and dehumanize her it's just a sweet Pokemon reference. Ash loves Charizard and he always hopes deep down he'll come around, but in the end he knows he has to let him go and do his own thing. This is what I need to do. She'll either come around or not. I can't be hanging on to nothing. So I have to keep moving forward in hopes she'll join me.
So work is going OK once I decided to just leave everything at the door when I enter and leave. It's working out really well. I approach everything with a fresh view every time.
I can't keep giving too huge of a fuck for this job when they wont give a fuck about me. I also just need to keep to myself. I realize I can be a bit overbearing when people talk to me because I'm excited to have friends... Some of the people I work with are fucking cold though...
So I just have to keep things to myself.
Needless today I have 2 weeks of vacation in September, MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!
Time away will help things out for sure. I can focus on the stream and work on that pretty hard for a couple of days.
Then I have a wedding at the end of Sept. Jon is getting hitched! He asked me to be up there with him!!! I'm fucking stoked. What an honor.
I knew we'd be best friends the day I met him, but I didn't think I was that important to be up there with him on that important day. Reminds me of someone I used to know, but didn't know well enough. I thought that after all the time we spent together I was important to him, I guess not. Glad that's over with though.
The stream, though! Things with the stream are going really well. I have a ton (20 +/-) of regular viewers lately. I've been streaming more consistently and attracting more and more loyal fans. I broke 1000 followers a week or so ago. Things are looking up.
I know one day I'll hit a lucky streak and get partnered!
Here's hoping!
The "taking control" and just doing things to better my life in a positive way is working out really well.
I have been having a lot less anxiety, and worry. Very low stress levels.
I am learning how to live and exist on a level of comfort with what I have, because it's what I've worked and earned. I'm only entitled to what I have because it's what I earned.
You only need 1 HP, the rest is extra.
My favorite though is, the sun shines on a dogs asshole every once and a while.
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