Tuesday, April 26, 2016

ajpup3ojr

All I ever wanted was you.All I ever needed was you.
All I could think about was you.
Now I'm a ghost.
A distant chill.
A shiver.
A faded reminder.
Never a second thought.


You ever felt left behind?
Like as if life just dropped you off, told you, "I'll be right back, just a bit." But after a bit you realize that it's not coming back?
Other people got to go, you see them.
Life walked away with everyone else laughing and having a good time, but you. You're left there wondering what's going on.
The success, the happiness, the worth, the value, the validity, the validation, the life, the feelings, the emotions, the love, the lust, it's all just not there. You see it everywhere else.
But you, an exhibit of failure, is left behind for no apparent reason.
That abandonment just welling up inside of you as everything you try or put your whole heart into just turns to dust or blows up in your face.
You just tell yourself, "I'm following my heart." or "I'm doing what they did, just going until I make it."
But fucking when is it your time? Where's your turn, or you rchance?
You can only salvage so much from these failures, speed bumps, heartbreaks, blips, fuck-ups, and or bad investments of time and effort.
You can't help but feel like you're grasping for what little remains of that HOPE. Trying to use hope as glue, slowly piecing it back together as you sloppily drop it on the floor again, braking it even more. The hope that one day it will be different. It will be better. It will change.
And that's all you have, the hope that your little dirt pile, your weathered and worn pile of you.
You've been hungry for so long, you no longer have an appetite.
You've been lonely so long that you no longer understand or care for that feeling of love.
You've been hurt so much that you're blind to kindness.
You're so jaded that you can't understand these simple concepts.
You're unable to act, stuck and motionless, dreaming of what you could have done right, before life left you behind.
You look to remember a glimpse of victory.
You want to feel that shine of success, but you're just a husk of what could have been.

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