Certain things happen and they make you want to change faster than originally anticipated.
For example: You want a new job, but you like yours because it's stable and secure. But the job you want is something you can always attempt to get later.
Something happens at your "stable" job and it puts things in perspective. Now the other options start to feel like the stable ones. It's time to start walking towards the new job a bit faster.
I'm now treating my job at Bookmans much like I would a relationship.
When we first got together I thought we'd never break up. It's magical, fucking fun, we get to do all these cool things together, but then stuff starts happening where it makes you question the relationship.
I am now actively seeking another relationship with the idea that this one isn't working out. The shitty thing is, and I would do this if I were really seeing someone, that I can not break up right now. I have so much riding on this relationship that if it were to end... I don't know what I would do.
This is something that scares me because I've never been in this position before.
This relationship has gone sour and it's because of outside forces. It's very unfortunate.
But yea, I'm currently looking for something.
I have a few prospects that are pretty nice, but the thing is- I don't mind sticking things out and attempting to work them out. But if something happens to come my way in November, or sooner, I might just be 100% honest.
I had an altercation that really left a bad feeling in me on Saturday, Sept. 12th.
It wasn't fucking cool. At all. It was really pathetic and childish. And I had to take steps to understand why this person feels like they can talk to me like they did.
It accelerated my plans knowing that I'm not wanted. I'm tired of it being blatant and obvious.
I know it, and I'm tired of trying to fix it. I'm me, I do a good job, even though you don't tell me, and I'll continue trying to make the department nice and awesome regardless of how incompetent you are. Sometimes I feel like I should have just applied for the position, maybe I could have made a difference. But I keep hearing about how things there are set in their ways. So maybe I would have quit sooner?
I dunno.
Anyways, I'm off to finding something more fulfilling. I love what I do, but it's come to the point where the people I have direct interactions with as a professional employee are extremely challenging and wearing down on me. I can not continue to be fake towards these people who can't be professional to me.
We were all hired to do a job, so do the fucking job. I'm sick of the bull shit. =)
So after the altercation I basically just stopped caring. I no longer really give a fuck.
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