Slowly getting into a good feeling.

Been making some changes in my life and looking at things in a more positive way.
I think a positive mental attitude is a great way to tackle things that are very difficult, and keeping this PMA is very difficult through the really fucking challenging things.

I did a new avatar for my online shit, like for my twitch and stuff.
There's my rough and then my vector final version.

I think it's cool.

working on this make it rain tshirt. here's the progress so far.

Seems to be going along decently.

In the future I hope to have some more roughs done. Working on an overlay for my twitch.tv since we now have a blue screen effect. Gotta make things look cool!
We are at 750+ followers right now, getting about 20 - 30 people watching consistently.

Donations are helping as well as I opened a patreon account to hit milestone goals and supporter goals.

Shit's been going OK lately.
We'll see what happens-

Feeling OK.

I did that today in hopes that it becomes as popular as my original monster hunter t involving the meat and the bbq spit. We'll see.
It's really simple, which is what I think drove the sales of the other t.
It's inspired by the simple t's that rescues do to help boost funds during fundraisers, or for people who support them.  In Monster Hunter 4 you can rescue Felynx / Melynx that are called Palicoes. They are your little battle companions. You can equip armor and give them weapons as they help you take down huge monsters. The inspiration fits just that as you visit Sunsnug Island and see there's a spot for every Palico you rescue!

Guys, I just wanted to say that life has been very difficult for me this year, but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see level ground. I see secure footing. I see stability. Finally.
I've put up for sale a lot of my childhood items. And I think letting go of the stuff will be a bit of a metamorphosis of who I am as a human being.
Being able to let go of my Nintendo 64 stuff the other day was rough but also very relieving.
I am able to resolve a legal garnishment against me because of this sale. I put up my SNES and my NES as well. I hope those sell too.

 I've been struggling with personal issues lately too. I've been feeling like shit and something really stuck with me today and I burst into tears. It was really fucking odd for me considering I haven't cried in a long time. I blame my past and my step-dad for that..  I had to be tough and I couldn't cry or it'd get worse. ----- I digress.
Markiplier was playing a game, The Static That Speaks My Name, and in the game there was an option to say something that really hit me deep, which is what kinda made me tear up but at the end... He started talking about how suicide isn't the option and it just hit me pretty hard.
What the option was in the game read, " I'm embarrased for everyone who ever believed in me... "
This is exactly how I feel, or felt anyways. To a "T" and it really made me think about where I stand, who I am, and where I am right now at that moment. I have felt this way, often. And even for the people who still felt like they should help me. It just hurt me the more I saw I was hurting them.
There's always a better option, he said to the camera. There is reason to live, he said to me.
There has to be a better way, he said to ME. Even though he was talking to the camera. He was talking to me.

I felt like shit. Like, who am I to be so selfish.

Anyways, the stream has been doing extremely well. I got stuff to finish my 'green' screen, which is actually blue. I got a sweet lighting kit to get the full effect. The stream looks 100% legit twitch official. I'm so excited. The viewers have been supporting me like crazy. I'm signing up for a Patreon account for further support on a monthly basis.

I'm trying to think of shit to work on for next wednesday... I need to get writing for my cartoon. I need to make some stuff for comic-con.. I need to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with myself.

But I know this. Things will always work out if I just keep on trying.

losing sight of what's important.

Hey guys, just wanted to update because it looks like there's been quite a gap since I posted last.
I've been kinda depressed due to the shit that's been going on lately.
I just don't know what to do with my life. I'm getting really tired of the routine and I'm kinda just looking for something exciting.
I'm feeling jaded. There are a few things that have been brightening me up though, so it's not as bad as it seems.

I finished up that design of the melynx. I'm totally satisfied with it.
I feel the little improvements the more I make more work.

I have some stuff in the works. The Mario card is in the rework stage. Trying to figure out how to simplify it.

I'm thinking about those animals with guns and making one other one to make it a cool t shirt series, or something. I gotta think of a cool style to do them in as well..

I dropped some previous ideas that involved Monster Hunter 3 since 4 is out now and the stuff has moved on. I want to make a Palico related tshirt. Like a palico house for wayward cats, I dunno... Something a long the lines of that. Or like a rescue tshirt since you kinda do rescue them with your hunter.

I'm getting more and more ideas onto paper with my damn cartoon.
I didn't think it was going to be so hard working on something but it's so challenging to get anything done. I want to work on it so much but between my full time job and my part time streaming job I can't do shit. I just need to get shit down on paper and just plug along...

We'll see what the days hold for me. I'm skeptical but hopeful.

More stuff in the rough..

I like it cause it rhymes.

I like these done rough. But I hope to have them pretty cleaned up by the time they're in flash / photoshop. I'm not sure a color scheme or style I want them in yet either. I want them to be pretty cool looking (doesn't any artist want that for their work?!) with a decent level of polish.

So this week I just kinda focused on the stuff I said I would do in college. I revisited some ideas I left behind from that time. I'm actually pretty happy with these roughs, but I gotta find a better pose or something with the panda. I'm not 100% on him yet. The zebra is dope tho!

On the horizon I hope to just clean them up and figure out how I'm going to put them on a t.
Feeling more and more productive with these Wednesday drawing sets.
I like being able to kinda sit down and separate myself from the bull shit that has been happening all year. It's good to be disconnected and reconnect to the person on the inside.
I feel like most days I'm going through the motions and it's mainly because people that are around me don't really get me.
I realized this the other day when I caught up with someone from school after a while of not seeing her. It's like- I'm not 100% understood with who's around me because they don't give me a chance.
Everyone has their guard up and no one takes me for me at face value.
I'm a hard worker, and when I'm passionate about something I do my best at it. I guess just not everyone see's that.
I'll leave you with this, this week: Do what you feel in your heart, because in the end the only person you have to answer to is yourself. I think I'd hate the fact that when I'm dying and I look back on my life and see risks I should have taken or things I didn't fully explore. Don't worry about being judged because everyone does it to you already, and when you're dead and gone it wont matter what you did or didn't do to those people. Work for yourself and make yourself better / happier / awesome. Don't let people take that away. Be yourself and just be happy.
It's what I'm trying to do. Been getting a lot of speed bumps this year, but I think it's because I'm on the right path.

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art related post here.





Lol just kidding. Hey guys what's up? I've been suffering from a sickness that has kept me pretty much operating at minimum capacity. I am getting back to normal slowly.
I've also been suffering from a garnishment and I'm glad to hear that today it's pretty much halfway paid off. I hope to resolve this issue when the balance gets lower. It's hard to be garnished and save money at the same time.
The stream is going really well lately, which is shocking. I didn't really think I'd be streaming still. I kinda did it for fun when I got started but now I kinda like it a lot. I think consistency is what attracts the viewers. So if I'm always on at the certain times they can always tune in to catch me.
I like that my stream is doing decent. It means I'm up to something.
I just did my 3rd 24 hour stream. I don't think I'll ever do another one again- We'll have to see. They are very demanding. Also, it's just hard to be entertaining for the majority of it.


I've been working on artwork today. I vowed that today would be execution.

So there was something I worked on for a bit. I think I need to do a bit more to it... I was satisfied with it earlier, but there's something missing. I do have text to go with it. Just didn't have enough time to complete it 100%.

Ok, so here's the other thing I'm working on. It's something that was inspired by a little card I saw. It was of a surfer guy looking out into the ocean. But I wanted to do this with Mario looking out to super mario world. So obviously Mario is missing, but I didn't have enough time to get him in there, which is awesome because I need to really simplify this image a lot.

So here's what I'm working on so far, obviously the two images above. A metroid / samus t which I have two ideas I'm working on with it. Another monster hunter t, which is still in the loose rough that involves the minions chacha and kiyamba.

 Keep an eye out for the shit.