Tucson Comic Con

Hello. I am just writing to let you know I am getting a table for Tucson Comic Con.

Now... I'm at a loss for what to put up at the table.
It would be obvious to put up my t-shirts there... But I don't have a lot of money to throw down and buy a bunch to resell.
So the struggle is real.
I could just make some work that means something to me and attempt to sell it.


I really like doing water color stuff so maybe I can make some little water color things, or do some comic book character and some video game characters.
Batman
Joker
Spiderman
Venom
Cable
Thanos
Wolverine
Deadpool
Death Stroke
Mega Man
Samus
Mario & Luigi
Bulbasaur
Charizard
Link


Some of the ideas of characters I could do little sketches of to do some easy water color work over. Maybe make a ton of prints?

Then try to sell my t-shirts with a link to them or stickers?

I have stickers I can order that aren't too expensive through RedBubble.

So I guess I'll order stickers, give them out-
Sell the little small sketches.
Try to sell the shit out of my t-shirts.
Network like a mother fucker.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I've been having a hard time lately.
Feeling guilty about how I've been acting.
Feeling like shit because I'm having issues with being depressed still.
Everyday is a struggle.
Especially lately.
I just feel like I'm missing something in my life.
I don't know what it is.
I feel like buying and playing games has helped in the past.
It's not working lately.
I can't quite put my finger on what's not working in my life.
Honestly, I have it pretty good.
I have a full time job that isn't so bad.
This full time job lets me have a place to live and food to eat.
Because I can do these things I can spend a little time doing stuff I really enjoy, like streaming and making artwork.
Because I do my stream and artwork I should feel happy.
I think because I'm in between the part of starting and not being a success at these things I might be feeling like I made a bad choice?
This cycle of wake up, go to work, get home, do work on personal stuff, go to sleep, rinse repeat might be a thing that's messing me up.
I know I'm lonely. I realized lately when talking to a new friend that I might be overbearing. I really need to take my self back a bit and just really figure out who the fuck I am and what I'm looking for in life.
I seem to have lost sight of goals recently, which I have a big goal.
I have a spot at a table in Tucson Comic Con.
I will be there sharing my artwork and stuff with the locals, in hopes to network with people who are just like me.
I have another huge goal, a successful Twitch.tv stream.
This is something I've been taking very serious lately and I feel like I'm seeing the fruits of my labor.
I need to network more with streamers though, so the hosting / sharing is more successful.

I'm just not happy with the little I have. And I feel selfish and stupid about it. I guess I was expecting more from myself. But I need to work harder.
You reap what you sow.

Finishing up stuff and gettng ready for the next project.

Hey there. What's up?
How are things going?
I'm just getting some stuff done. Feeling good about the work I just produced. Going to focus on stuff for animation hopefully soon.
I'd like to have some work started on my personal cartoon idea.
I've been listening to this band Mystery Skulls.
This one song has just got me feeling all kinds of crazy.
The lyrics really got through to me. It's like the artist knew my struggle too. He was just singing to me. It reminds me of when I first heard Korns self titled album. Or even when I heard Trent Reznor and his voice... They had a grip and a profound effect on me.

I think it's a great thing.

Mystery Skulls - Money

^ There's the link if you want to check it out.

As for the work I just completed, you can see all the products it's on at RedBubble.

Teenage Mute Hero Hylians

There's the .png of the work. Enjoy that.

As for me. Personally. Mentally. Physically.
I just... I'm trying to fight this feeling for someone.
I know she doesn't fucking care about me. But I can't help but feel hopeful there's a chance.
I know deep down inside she likes me...
She's just not willing to work with me. She blames her current issues and things, when I know that when we kissed it was something fucking real.
I haven't felt magical in a while. This girl is my "fuck yes!" This girl makes me want to just explode. My heart.. Just thinking about her...
I think she isn't on the same page but I let her know how I feel.
I did my part.
The situation is like this: I'm Ash, and she's Charizard.
I want to have her on my team at all times, but she just wont listen and ignores me. She's too powerful for me to train properly.
I'm not saying I want to train her and dehumanize her it's just a sweet Pokemon reference. Ash loves Charizard and he always hopes deep down he'll come around, but in the end he knows he has to let him go and do his own thing. This is what I need to do. She'll either come around or not. I can't be hanging on to nothing. So I have to keep moving forward in hopes she'll join me.

So work is going OK once I decided to just leave everything at the door when I enter and leave. It's working out really well. I approach everything with a fresh view every time.
I can't keep giving too huge of a fuck for this job when they wont give a fuck about me. I also just need to keep to myself. I realize I can be a bit overbearing when people talk to me because I'm excited to have friends... Some of the people I work with are fucking cold though...
So I just have to keep things to myself.
Needless today I have 2 weeks of vacation in September, MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!
Time away will help things out for sure. I can focus on the stream and work on that pretty hard for a couple of days.

Then I have a wedding at the end of Sept. Jon is getting hitched! He asked me to be up there with him!!! I'm fucking stoked. What an honor.
I knew we'd be best friends the day I met him, but I didn't think I was that important to be up there with him on that important day. Reminds me of someone I used to know, but didn't know well enough. I thought that after all the time we spent together I was important to him, I guess not. Glad that's over with though.

The stream, though! Things with the stream are going really well. I have a ton (20 +/-) of regular viewers lately. I've been streaming more consistently and attracting more and more loyal fans. I broke 1000 followers a week or so ago. Things are looking up.
I know one day I'll hit a lucky streak and get partnered!
Here's hoping!

The "taking control" and just doing things to better my life in a positive way is working out really well.
I have been having a lot less anxiety, and worry. Very low stress levels.

I am learning how to live and exist on a level of comfort with what I have, because it's what I've worked and earned. I'm only entitled to what I have because it's what I earned.

You only need 1 HP, the rest is extra.
My favorite though is, the sun shines on a dogs asshole every once and a while.

Taking more steps forward.

Greetings. Hello. Hi.
It's me. Zech.
I'm going to just talk.
Things lately have been interesting, for sure...
I've been kind of taking hold of my depression and working against it.
It seems to be working. I've been clearing the air of the bull shit lately too.
I'm kind of bringing in the stuff I want by making goals and working to achieve them.
What I mean is this:
I'm tired of shit in my life. Like literal garbage.
Purging myself of this has been nice.
I'm working to get shit back on track for me.
It's not easy either. The struggle is definitely real.
My goals lately have been to find a better paying job that I don't mind doing.
It's not that my current job isn't awesome, because it is. It's just that the wage I'm getting doesn't reflect my experience, my passion for the work I do / just the work I do, or anything. It's borderline not worth it.
Plus after hearing that others are getting paid significantly more than me kind of hurts, even after when I got the job I asked if the wage reflects my previous experience. Not to mention I didn't get a raise for taking on more responsibility.
These are concerns of mine that have yet to be addressed even after bringing them up several times with in the last couple of months.

I would post more rantings about stuff here but I'm currently exhausted.

Here's progress of my Hylian shirt.

Salutations. Welcome back.

Hi. It's me. But not the same me. It's the better me. The improved me.
I recently spilled my guts about some internal struggles I was suffering from. Knowing that I put it out there made me feel better. I don't know who's read it, seen it, skimmed it, or anything, but knowing it's just out has made me feel so much more. I FEEL MORE. I know it's a weird sentence. But it gave me a chance to feel normal.

So, get this... With my recent revelation I decided that I am no longer going to use my depression as a crutch. It's not hindering me. It's not some kind of fucking thing that dictates my life. "I" do that. It's my life. Not this heavy weighted cloud. This wet blanket... It's my choice. I let it get a hold of me and it did some damage.
I'm glad I caught it. I just kept thinking about how my mom is.
She's dependent on meds these days. I can't resort to that. I take my mental health upon myself. I am the only change I can make in myself.
Same goes for you too. You can only change if you truly set your mind to it and just fucking do it.

July 13th I told myself I am taking control of things.
I need to make the changes. I need to be the change.
Enough of the- I wish I could or, nah I can't. It's YES. I'm going to try. I'm going to do my damn best to fucking try.

It lit a fire inside me.
I got an idea that I'm running with on this t-shirt.

Here's the rough shit. I'm liking this. I'm working on cleaning up my linework. I'm using pressure sensitivity to the best of my ability.
Also, I have to make sure they all are around the same size. The orange one looks a bit too big IMO.

I like it. I think it'll be good enough to submit to Ript, TFURY or Yetee... We'll see when it's done. Maybe next week or so.

As far as animation goes, I need to work on the things that'll get me a job.
A few lipsyncs would be nice. It can encompass some good character movements and stuff if I plan it right.
I want to start getting my stories down for my guy and his ghost best friend as well as the Oliver and Monsterbutt story.

I'm taking everything one day at a time and not letting good opportunities pass me by.