The first post of the New Year. Happy 2018.

Hey there reader! Welcome to the first blog of 2018.
I'm Zach, if you don't know me!
I just recently got contacted by an author of a book. They asked me if I was interested in doing some illustrations for their book. I've never done it before, so I said yeah!
I got some rough stuff posted up here. I've been spending a lot of time trying to find a voice and style for the illustrations. I'm still not set 100% on everything at the moment but here's what I've been working on.

This first image is me just messing around with trying to find a sense of style with the characters.

After talking with the author about what she feels is most visually important in her book we agreed to work on a few scenes. The fist thing she said to me was that there's a part involving the main character, a young girl, and her Grandfather. They were together on the porch and it was something to symbolize togetherness.
I wasn't sure what I wanted the grandpa to look like so I did a lot of just sketches feeling out characters.

Got a rough done, and then liked where it was going.

There's just a simple idea of what I was looking for but I'm still not sold on coloring it.
I want to emulate a style with a lot of texture. So I still have some work to do with this.

This scene, when read and described to me popped up so vividly in my mind. I am proud of this rough drawing and I hope to execute it properly.

Some progress of the clean up. Still not sold on the line work.

Here's one last rough drawing of a scene in the book. I think there's about 2 or 3 other ideas to get to but I'm still getting stuff together for it.

I recently had some hardware malfunctions which made me treat myself over the holidays.
I bought a Cintiq 13HD and was messing around with it all day yesterday.

I wanted to work on some lewd stuff with Panty and Stocking. So I started working out this idea of the next 3 pieces.
Panty, showing off her ASSets. Panty, doing the same thing. Then one final piece of them together.
So far the tablet is great, honestly. I love the feel of looking at what I'm drawing right there. It feels so natural. But I still have a hard time separating myself from the laptop screen or monitor. Breaking old habits can be rough.

Got a pose I settled on for Panty, but then we had to wrap up at the shop. It's usually how it goes. I get into the groove and then we have to leave.

The stream on Twitch.tv has been put on hold because for some reason Two-Factor Authentication had been activated on my account, causing me to be locked out of it for almost a whole month.
I just recently cleared it up, finally! It wasn't my fault, Twitch and Authy took forever getting back to me. Glad to be back on track.

Hope to start this year out strong and keep the momentum.

If I Were to do it Part 3

Dear Nicole, Coley!
Thank you for spending the last 10 years talking to me. We've spent a lot of time just chatting and shooting the shit but today we actually made a memory worth having.
We spent the better part of a day finally hanging out and it felt awesome to finally see who you were. I think for once in this bit, I was happy! So thanks for being there for me when I was taking care of some life business. Hope you carry on and keep things good.

Dear Raul I,
You have been a true bud. Your sense of humor has made things easier to bear. It's been good to hang out and talk to you about things and get perspective. You have a good head on your shoulders and you really are destined for greatness.

If I Were to do it Part 2

To Maya,
Thanks for always being a light in the darkness.
You have your own complex life with your own problems and things, but you have always been so kind to me. I think genuine people attract other genuine people and it's nice to know that there was someone out there that treated me like how I wanted to be treated.
You are a true friend and the way that you always hugged me and said the right things to keep pushing is something I'm glad to have had.
Today alone, you provided perspective to my situation reminding me that I am not garbage. I am a human being that is deserving of things like a genuine smile and compassion. I've always worked so hard to build solid relationships but our friendship seems so natural.
Thanks for that.

To Jesse,
You are a positive part of my week. You're striving just like me to be something better. I appreciate you being a true pal. You're just a good human with qualities I wish I had in myself. Glad to have spent time and made art with you.

To Kirstin,
You were there for some of my dark days, and you were there for some of the light ones. You really did help with making things seem less shitty. I can't say it enough with how much I appreciate you reaching out to me and getting me out of my hermit modes. Glad you were able to get things in your life sorted out and it's nice to know you're on the right path. Sorry I gave up. Just keep fighting, I know it will get better.

If I were to do it. Part 1

If I were to do it, I guess I would write something that reads something like this:


To me Mah,
What a shame, right? I hope you don't think it's got anything to do with you. Because know in my words right now it does not and did not.
You did your best with what you had. I never resented you or anything.
I just wish you worked harder on helping yourself with your mental illness and worked harder on trying to get better. It feels like you gave up and it's hard to see how strong you used to be and see you just give up and not try anymore.
You are worth so much more and I love you.

To Jon,
You either get killed or kill yourself.
You were good to me, dude. I don't know if I had ever even tried to explain how much of a good friend you were. It's like we were brothers from another life and it was destiny for me to have a person like you around.
I'm grateful you helped me out in times of need and I'm super glad you were around to make some of the hardest days not so hard.
We tried. You just gotta try twice as hard now for both of us.

To Barbara,
Even though I know you'd never read it or hear about it, I would hope you think things went better for me.
I would want you to know that our interactions did genuinely make me feel like a regular human being.
You are such a nice person and it really radiates outwards. I truly wish you well and I appreciate the kindness you have shown me. I wanted to cry when you bought me lunch today because I felt like I didn't deserve it at all. You were actually the reason why I wanted to write anything at all.

These feelings... They can only be described as post convention sads.

It's great when you can spend time doing stuff you like, and then make some money off of it.
Tucson Comic Con was fun. Sold some stuff and made some pocket change, which quickly went to life necessities.
But it was nice to not have to worry or stress about it. I was just able to handle business as usual.
Life outside of it just kind of stinks.
It's like, you do what makes your soul burn. You feel those fires rising up inside you and you want to fan the flames but then reality hits and you realize you can't.
You have to work doing other things in order to make this dream happen.
It's a little depressing.
I just want to be happy.
I guess all the things I do will fill that cup of happiness just one drop at a time.
Alright, well enough bitching. I seem to complain a lot about things.
All things aside. The things in my life aren't that bad, honestly.
I just feel like I expect more from myself and then I get lazy and don't deliver.
I think the core of my issues all start with me and I am just too lazy to really do anything about it. As if I'm too scared to make a change for the better.

 We are all seeking validation in different forms.
I think the convention weekend validated some of my struggles with my emotions, passions, drives, and personal strengths.
I just have to keep working towards the life I want.
Eventually I will be able to be a professional doing the things I adore.

The Rick & Morty print was the most successful one I had, next to the 11 vs Demigorgon.
I think the pop culture items and the hot items of the month are the best sellers for sure.
A lot of people looking for that fresh appeal, wanting something unique.
The sticker grab bags didn't work out like I had hoped. I think people weren't too into taking the risk. It was affordable but I think they were scared of getting something they didn't like.
Overall though I would do con again. Even though I didn't make thousands of dollars I felt like it was a great experience and I'm definitely getting better as time goes on.
Artists were talking about taking advantage of local art shows like RAW and others to get better exposure and possibly come across better opportunity

I'm hopeful for the future with art and design.